In my former career I recall working in a job where I began to petrify. I had promised myself I would apply for promotion when it was next available and so I kept that promise to myself in a half hearted sort of way. Once engaged with the process I did the best I could and gained promotion. Not for the first time I felt a mixture of they've got it wrong I'll never be able to do it and yeah damn right, see all at the same time. The role was partly what I wanted as it filled the lack of experience of man management I knew I thoroughly lacked.
What I found was that after a year or too my ambition if not necessarily my confidence began to grow.
I recall my next venture into promotion was the hardest, I got a go ahead pass and no role and going for promotion in another department didn't even get me an interview. At this point one feedback from interview I had was that I should get out of my comfort zone. My boss and I were annoyed and amused by that comment. When am I in my comfort zone? Exactly she said.
I always seemed to aim towards a new thing that would teach me soothing or add to my strengths or experience. But of course all within the same employer and all desk-bound jobs so there were parameters I had set without realising.
I'm rarely comfortable when I am learning a new role. I am eager to learn and quick to feel I am not getting it quick enough as I focus on what I am not doing rather than on what I am achieving. After temping and volunteering and applying for jobs all at the same time for a while I realise I had put myself through years of that discomfort, constantly being on the backfoot. But that has never stopped me doing it.
Now I am pausing and reluctant to take on any more discomfort for a while. I'm doing ok in my new role and being offered more complex work. I don't want the hassle and at the same time feel uninspired by the things I can do. I have done more things but my drive is in third gear.
I expected to see paths open up to me once I got my self integrated in this work. I feel very connected and able to help others but see no way to grow as a person or in my career. I feel I want to. I want more status and influence. Mainly influence I think.
When work is hectic and I have lots of internal customers I thrive, so maybe its the self motivating for tasks that I find hard. I'm reluctant to let any job get under my skin and take over my life. I have a better work life balance now. Better relationship with my son, not that it was negative before but more about looking after him and less about hanging out with him, more needed than wanted stuff. I'm less likely to bend to accommodate what extra work may ask of me.
Maybe that will change when I have an empty nest or maybe there just needs to be more of me in what I am trying to achieve.
The things that have happened that I expected is that I have real relationships with people on the inside now. I surprise myself with the relevance of my experiences and interests.
Sometimes I speak and everyone gets what I have to say the first time. And they don't pull a face. My clothes are considered ordinary or interesting but never wtf?!*&* even today when I wore a turquoise trilby with sequin trim
my writing www.cymruculture.co.uk is not going to change academia but it is part of that and www.artclubcardiff.co.uk its sharing art for the everyman. I like to think I'm the Barry Norman of the art world. I describe, inform and not critique.
Had seriously lovely feedback from one piece which still gives me hope that one day I may get paid for it. "Maybe you could be a writer, you could do worse" Lloyd Cole sang in my ear for many years.
I'd like the money but I'd like the feeling of achievement.
so there, I feel safe and am now looking for more. Like the man stuck in the hole who has a man jump in with him, I am reassuring myself I have been in this hole before and I know the way out.
First aim at the sky...
Jen
Friday, 31 January 2014
Friday, 12 July 2013
A Full Time Perm Job in an Arts Establishment - Found my niche?
It's been about ten days since I had my third interview for this post.
Third you ask, yes once when I was told you were our second choice (I'd heard that three times in a row) then once to cover mat leave and again to get the job for real.
I was excited (fist pump on the bus receiving the news) but also in shock and full of relief for a day or so and then battling my brain out of feeling guilty for earning so much less than I did and not providing like I used to. I didn't want to write in that state so I had a few glasses of prosecco and got on with the day job, its been a particularly busy time and husband working nights so no real time to reflect much.
There is a sense of reaching the destination, it's been such a long journey that it feels just that I'm here in one piece. At times I have lost faith, only to find the despair won't actually let me relax into giving up. I learn that giving up as a concept is in me which scared me but that giving up in reality is not, which is also frightening. I never knew I could hate how I feel and not have a way of dealing with it and still do stuff even though my brain was screaming I can't be bothered, why bother, I'm so bad at this, they don't respect me, with many Anglo-Saxon words thrown in for good measure and still it found no comfort in just stopping. I could feel sorry for myself but not in a comforting lets each too much ice-cream sort of way, in a I'm really hard done by and the future is scary kind of way.
So I wanted to say to anyone in that situation, feel the pain, don't run away from it, feel it. Like I had to let myself feel the anger of losing my job. I am here on the other side and it's logical that statistically things will go your way sometimes, so just keep going. I learn I really was second choice a few times, so keep rolling the dice.
I know have some perspective and can see that I have to give myself credit for a few things. One is always putting the effort into my applications although they were soul destroying and fiddly and badly designed and full of unexplained jargon, I googled and Wikipediad and listened to everyone's conversations and gleaned info. I volunteered and juggled that with temping, balancing expectations and commitments and ensured I was there when my husband wasn't for our son.
It was hard to explain the effort and creativity going on in my brain, temping meant I had to learn new organisations cultures and terminology and meet new people and build rapport. I tasked myself with relearning my art history degree, I sort of added to its edges instead, back to basics with A level texts on histories of art and then catch ups with lots of new ideologies and arguments. I also taught myself more about contemporary art, read lots of monoliths, went to see more art as a regular conscious activity. I started art club and that has had many unexpected benefits, but mostly I have scheduled art into my life rather than just it being a happenstance. For once I have a hobby, that's a life enriching thing and something we need to get girls and women to allow time for more in our society.
Getting to know the artworld in my area, I am still on the edge of being in it but I know people and what they do and I love connecting them and passing helpful knowledge on. I'm still not one for silo thinking but at least I know where some perceived divisions lie.
I have grown confident in my own thoughts. I have surprised myself in talking to artists, something as an historian you don't get to do, that I get their work and can really talk to many of them about it. I used to think about art a lot and never, I mean never get to talk about it. It's a release to be with like minded people so all of the journey has given me lots of what I always wanted.
I have been let down and disappointed and had people be rude, flaky and shockingly ungrateful and yet I have learnt to take that way more in my stride than I ever expected, I have settled myself into not feeling guilty into not continuing all the volunteering, I hope to do some but it has to fit in. I did use that to legitimise my move into art and I think that's ok. I am very grateful for the introductions that people gave me and the respect and trust I often got.
I have learnt to be humble and show leadership and am someway to getting the balance right.
Getting the job, any perm job has made me more relaxed and human, I feel less tense and I am so thankful that the natural self-motivation is returning. I really thought the edge had come off my willingness, some days this week in work I've actually thought "I'm enjoying this" that has happened for years.
So its my job now and I feel like everything I learn and try will be for me as well as the organisation, it's something to build on and that's a good place to be.
I work at the art school.
I love saying that.
Jen
Third you ask, yes once when I was told you were our second choice (I'd heard that three times in a row) then once to cover mat leave and again to get the job for real.
I was excited (fist pump on the bus receiving the news) but also in shock and full of relief for a day or so and then battling my brain out of feeling guilty for earning so much less than I did and not providing like I used to. I didn't want to write in that state so I had a few glasses of prosecco and got on with the day job, its been a particularly busy time and husband working nights so no real time to reflect much.
There is a sense of reaching the destination, it's been such a long journey that it feels just that I'm here in one piece. At times I have lost faith, only to find the despair won't actually let me relax into giving up. I learn that giving up as a concept is in me which scared me but that giving up in reality is not, which is also frightening. I never knew I could hate how I feel and not have a way of dealing with it and still do stuff even though my brain was screaming I can't be bothered, why bother, I'm so bad at this, they don't respect me, with many Anglo-Saxon words thrown in for good measure and still it found no comfort in just stopping. I could feel sorry for myself but not in a comforting lets each too much ice-cream sort of way, in a I'm really hard done by and the future is scary kind of way.
So I wanted to say to anyone in that situation, feel the pain, don't run away from it, feel it. Like I had to let myself feel the anger of losing my job. I am here on the other side and it's logical that statistically things will go your way sometimes, so just keep going. I learn I really was second choice a few times, so keep rolling the dice.
I know have some perspective and can see that I have to give myself credit for a few things. One is always putting the effort into my applications although they were soul destroying and fiddly and badly designed and full of unexplained jargon, I googled and Wikipediad and listened to everyone's conversations and gleaned info. I volunteered and juggled that with temping, balancing expectations and commitments and ensured I was there when my husband wasn't for our son.
It was hard to explain the effort and creativity going on in my brain, temping meant I had to learn new organisations cultures and terminology and meet new people and build rapport. I tasked myself with relearning my art history degree, I sort of added to its edges instead, back to basics with A level texts on histories of art and then catch ups with lots of new ideologies and arguments. I also taught myself more about contemporary art, read lots of monoliths, went to see more art as a regular conscious activity. I started art club and that has had many unexpected benefits, but mostly I have scheduled art into my life rather than just it being a happenstance. For once I have a hobby, that's a life enriching thing and something we need to get girls and women to allow time for more in our society.
Getting to know the artworld in my area, I am still on the edge of being in it but I know people and what they do and I love connecting them and passing helpful knowledge on. I'm still not one for silo thinking but at least I know where some perceived divisions lie.
I have grown confident in my own thoughts. I have surprised myself in talking to artists, something as an historian you don't get to do, that I get their work and can really talk to many of them about it. I used to think about art a lot and never, I mean never get to talk about it. It's a release to be with like minded people so all of the journey has given me lots of what I always wanted.
I have been let down and disappointed and had people be rude, flaky and shockingly ungrateful and yet I have learnt to take that way more in my stride than I ever expected, I have settled myself into not feeling guilty into not continuing all the volunteering, I hope to do some but it has to fit in. I did use that to legitimise my move into art and I think that's ok. I am very grateful for the introductions that people gave me and the respect and trust I often got.
I have learnt to be humble and show leadership and am someway to getting the balance right.
Getting the job, any perm job has made me more relaxed and human, I feel less tense and I am so thankful that the natural self-motivation is returning. I really thought the edge had come off my willingness, some days this week in work I've actually thought "I'm enjoying this" that has happened for years.
So its my job now and I feel like everything I learn and try will be for me as well as the organisation, it's something to build on and that's a good place to be.
I work at the art school.
I love saying that.
Jen
Friday, 17 May 2013
Its all coming together..?
So July 31st this year will be the two year anniversary of my leaving the civil service. I did actually leave on a Sunday. Great financially but odd on my cv, job applications and all that.
I still have a smidge of my redundancy money left, so I think it's best to share my wisdom on that one.
Firstly I didn't think of it as "extra" money, I thought of it as wages until I got paid again.
Knowing my own habits I started to dream of all the things I could achieve or buy with the money. If I get given money for my birthday I often find it more satisfying to have a little bit, like a tenner to spend on something frivolous like a decent bottle of wine rather than £200 as that can easily be 20 silly things and then you feel you wasted it.
So I wrote a chart out of all the things I could do with the money and divided it up into those chunks. Some things I bought like new duck down duvets, warm if heating proves too expensive and luxury if not. I put about a quarter towards the family holiday we had last year, this was teh I deserve it part of the money and memories can't be taken away from you. I bought a netbook, so I could start writing wherever I was, maybe one day for paid work, maybe just to assist with job apps. Proved helpful in these ways and as a tool when volunteering for arts organisations, this was the speculate to accumulate part, along with website hosting, business cards, MA membership. I spent the least I could and it's hard to say if any of that was directly helpful but I don't feel foolish spending a couple of hundred a year on such things altogether.
I then tried to earn as much as I could, this was a lot of temping a few promises of work and payments that didn't come to anything, those flaky loveable folks, hmmppphh. Well learning to think freelance is learning to be balanced between being flexible, useful and a mug. This for me is a work in progress. A side lesson is that I don't really mind If I enjoyed the task but if I hadn't being paid would have made the discomfort worth it, and I would have felt more respected.
Then I tried to keep my head straight that I wasn't rich or poor and that maybe I'd get a job before it all ran out and I could splurge the last bit.
It seems I have a good chance of getting my current job permanently it's a lot less money, more holidays and actually exactly what I wanted when I left. A lower position in an arts org I can learn and grow from and have a second career. So now I'm thinking I'm sure I'll be delighted if it does come off but I can't get excited after two years of purgatory.
I am getting more writing requests, now from artists which is great. Feel free to ask me and if you can pay me great! £200 an article seems the going rate.
I'll keep you posted,
Jen
I still have a smidge of my redundancy money left, so I think it's best to share my wisdom on that one.
Firstly I didn't think of it as "extra" money, I thought of it as wages until I got paid again.
Knowing my own habits I started to dream of all the things I could achieve or buy with the money. If I get given money for my birthday I often find it more satisfying to have a little bit, like a tenner to spend on something frivolous like a decent bottle of wine rather than £200 as that can easily be 20 silly things and then you feel you wasted it.
So I wrote a chart out of all the things I could do with the money and divided it up into those chunks. Some things I bought like new duck down duvets, warm if heating proves too expensive and luxury if not. I put about a quarter towards the family holiday we had last year, this was teh I deserve it part of the money and memories can't be taken away from you. I bought a netbook, so I could start writing wherever I was, maybe one day for paid work, maybe just to assist with job apps. Proved helpful in these ways and as a tool when volunteering for arts organisations, this was the speculate to accumulate part, along with website hosting, business cards, MA membership. I spent the least I could and it's hard to say if any of that was directly helpful but I don't feel foolish spending a couple of hundred a year on such things altogether.
I then tried to earn as much as I could, this was a lot of temping a few promises of work and payments that didn't come to anything, those flaky loveable folks, hmmppphh. Well learning to think freelance is learning to be balanced between being flexible, useful and a mug. This for me is a work in progress. A side lesson is that I don't really mind If I enjoyed the task but if I hadn't being paid would have made the discomfort worth it, and I would have felt more respected.
Then I tried to keep my head straight that I wasn't rich or poor and that maybe I'd get a job before it all ran out and I could splurge the last bit.
It seems I have a good chance of getting my current job permanently it's a lot less money, more holidays and actually exactly what I wanted when I left. A lower position in an arts org I can learn and grow from and have a second career. So now I'm thinking I'm sure I'll be delighted if it does come off but I can't get excited after two years of purgatory.
I am getting more writing requests, now from artists which is great. Feel free to ask me and if you can pay me great! £200 an article seems the going rate.
I'll keep you posted,
Jen
Wednesday, 24 April 2013
Kathryn Ashill: Art Cardiff Map- the pink one
This initiative is run by a group of local artists. Should be copied elsewhere but only if they get credit and possibly some dosh. Great to see public spirited stuff in the arts
Kathryn Ashill: Art Cardiff Map- the pink one: For Future Reference... 2013, Artwork created for Cardiff Art Map April-June It is an honour to have my work distributed widely on...
Kathryn Ashill: Art Cardiff Map- the pink one: For Future Reference... 2013, Artwork created for Cardiff Art Map April-June It is an honour to have my work distributed widely on...
Tuesday, 2 April 2013
Time off to study
Well, it wasn't supposed to be but I finally finished Stefan Muthesius's English Terraced House and this is meant to be a day off. Stefan was a professor of mine at UEA and his books leave me feeling about as communicated with as I did when attending his lectures or going out with him on field trips. He was a seriously pedantic man, german by birth, the nephew of Hermann Muthesius and a real anglophile. He travelled much of the UK and seems to have loved all the things I do about Cardiff's architecture and street layout. Having grown up in Llandaff North, LLandaff city and Cathedral Road and Pontcanna were my early arenas of architectural yearning. We thought very little of our terraced house although I now gather the rubble exterior on faced brick with a small front garden and it's own outside loo, lane access, full hall and three bedrooms was quite posh for a little house, added to this is the hierarchy of Road which was above Street and I was better housed than I thought.
I know for a fact I read this book whilst at Uni but really I don't recall reading a darn thing. I recall lot of its messages but mainly from the tweed wearing, leather elbowed, bowing like Uriah Heep academic enthusiast than from reading. I read a lot at Uni and the internet was in it's mouth wiping milk dribbling infacy so must have relied on it for coursework. Amazing what one can forget and somehow even more annoyingly wrongly remember.
I have read a lot recently, March being the month of mother's day My birthday, our wedding anniversary and its a bumper month for gifts. I've spent some serious time in the company of Danny Baker, Anthony Bourdain and Sandi Toksvig via the book of their own words format and I conclude that self confidence and self belief and a general blind optimism does work out. However I am totally sure many people have the same traits and do not. Sandi is constantly reminding her reader of famous people's bon mots so it was more like seeing her at a crowded dinner party where she introduced everyone to me. St David apparently tells us to do the little things. So today I dusted behind the radiators and ordered lots of storage to somehow turn my flat into a tardis as I am not losing any books DVDs or shoes but do wish to gain floor.
Danny says those from his youth thought only fools and horses was a documentary and I was quite horrified how being on the fiddle seemed so widespread, no direct harm but a new tendency in my late thirties is to feel that my honesty and attempt at learning a job and trying hard at it and being up front with insurers although I've never made a claim is all for nought. Mis selling of financial products being a particular bug bear, why should those who borrowed often and more than they could afford be rewarded with their un needed insurance back? Buyer beware people. It was that big pile of greedy wannabe middle classes that got us in this mess, ok some vulnerable customers were exploited look after them but why does being mildly clever and careful with what I earn not make a positive impact to my life?
Anthony on the other hand has worked really hard and played hard and used his creativity and enthusiasm to inspire others and at times has walked away from those he can not help, not a hand holder but not a stamp on your neck to hold you down kinda guy. That's more me really but I'm also really sensible and don't play hard at all.
Amongst other things going on in my life my main thoughts are with my next role. I recognise a repulsion to even try. Do you want to go through a lot of rejection in quick succession? NOPE do you want to learn role upon role via temping and volunteering only to have to walk away? NOPE do you want a steady job that you can commit to and get better at that means you get to care for your child in the evenings and plan to move into a house or at least replaster the flat you are in and think about the occassional family holiday and actually paying for your son to get to uni? YES
It seems on the one hand impossible but I am reminded of a conversation I had with my husband some year's ago.
Him: "Why don't we ever have dessert?"
Me:"Oh I don't believe in dessert"
Him:"But I've seen them, other people have them."
So for my next bread and butter I want dessert, all of the above with a cherry on top
I'll start looking now
Jen
I know for a fact I read this book whilst at Uni but really I don't recall reading a darn thing. I recall lot of its messages but mainly from the tweed wearing, leather elbowed, bowing like Uriah Heep academic enthusiast than from reading. I read a lot at Uni and the internet was in it's mouth wiping milk dribbling infacy so must have relied on it for coursework. Amazing what one can forget and somehow even more annoyingly wrongly remember.
I have read a lot recently, March being the month of mother's day My birthday, our wedding anniversary and its a bumper month for gifts. I've spent some serious time in the company of Danny Baker, Anthony Bourdain and Sandi Toksvig via the book of their own words format and I conclude that self confidence and self belief and a general blind optimism does work out. However I am totally sure many people have the same traits and do not. Sandi is constantly reminding her reader of famous people's bon mots so it was more like seeing her at a crowded dinner party where she introduced everyone to me. St David apparently tells us to do the little things. So today I dusted behind the radiators and ordered lots of storage to somehow turn my flat into a tardis as I am not losing any books DVDs or shoes but do wish to gain floor.
Danny says those from his youth thought only fools and horses was a documentary and I was quite horrified how being on the fiddle seemed so widespread, no direct harm but a new tendency in my late thirties is to feel that my honesty and attempt at learning a job and trying hard at it and being up front with insurers although I've never made a claim is all for nought. Mis selling of financial products being a particular bug bear, why should those who borrowed often and more than they could afford be rewarded with their un needed insurance back? Buyer beware people. It was that big pile of greedy wannabe middle classes that got us in this mess, ok some vulnerable customers were exploited look after them but why does being mildly clever and careful with what I earn not make a positive impact to my life?
Anthony on the other hand has worked really hard and played hard and used his creativity and enthusiasm to inspire others and at times has walked away from those he can not help, not a hand holder but not a stamp on your neck to hold you down kinda guy. That's more me really but I'm also really sensible and don't play hard at all.
Amongst other things going on in my life my main thoughts are with my next role. I recognise a repulsion to even try. Do you want to go through a lot of rejection in quick succession? NOPE do you want to learn role upon role via temping and volunteering only to have to walk away? NOPE do you want a steady job that you can commit to and get better at that means you get to care for your child in the evenings and plan to move into a house or at least replaster the flat you are in and think about the occassional family holiday and actually paying for your son to get to uni? YES
It seems on the one hand impossible but I am reminded of a conversation I had with my husband some year's ago.
Him: "Why don't we ever have dessert?"
Me:"Oh I don't believe in dessert"
Him:"But I've seen them, other people have them."
So for my next bread and butter I want dessert, all of the above with a cherry on top
I'll start looking now
Jen
Friday, 29 March 2013
Art School Admin soon be out for summer
So how's it been working at the Art School? Well the greatest part of it is when I say something vaguely interesting or amusing other people there get it rather than looking at me like "hmm what... " which is what I used to get.
Everyone is interesting, intelligent or well-dressed or sometimes all three.
In the recent snow a former colleague mentioned tractor tests on facebook and I got quite nostalgic. Truly a sign that the healing of leaving that career is truly coming.
I found I hit a wall about 6 months in of not feeling like I knew the job well enough and yet before that I knew I was grasping things little by little better each time. I now realise that wall hits just before it all becomes clear and I'm running the desk like a dj or a slick bartender. I am very quick at being a slick bartender, and I love doing that. So now I'm in the flow of it and learning new parts and more about the business is just oil to the wheels. I could go on doing this and learning more and taking on more and working here for ever, but in a few months it won't be mine anymore. So part of me is planning my demise, working in future proofing so that communication will continue amongst staff and new tweaks will be shared with the postholder seemlessly, diaries and plans for the new academic year are being set up and everything set up ready for the return of the queen.
I realise I don't just learn the role, I learn the people, the dynamics, the names and faces and the structure and that's a lot more than just the tasks. So I have now harnessed this and one wonders too what end?
Like all the temping and volunteering one must capitalise on this. This involves skills I'm not sure I have learnt can even name or describe.
My career thus far has taught me professionalism easy rapport with people, ability to be playful and serious at the right times, to respect everyone even those by instinct I wouldn't as I have learnt everyone has value even it is really well hidden.
So I look forward for direction and a new job.
Everyone is interesting, intelligent or well-dressed or sometimes all three.
In the recent snow a former colleague mentioned tractor tests on facebook and I got quite nostalgic. Truly a sign that the healing of leaving that career is truly coming.
I found I hit a wall about 6 months in of not feeling like I knew the job well enough and yet before that I knew I was grasping things little by little better each time. I now realise that wall hits just before it all becomes clear and I'm running the desk like a dj or a slick bartender. I am very quick at being a slick bartender, and I love doing that. So now I'm in the flow of it and learning new parts and more about the business is just oil to the wheels. I could go on doing this and learning more and taking on more and working here for ever, but in a few months it won't be mine anymore. So part of me is planning my demise, working in future proofing so that communication will continue amongst staff and new tweaks will be shared with the postholder seemlessly, diaries and plans for the new academic year are being set up and everything set up ready for the return of the queen.
I realise I don't just learn the role, I learn the people, the dynamics, the names and faces and the structure and that's a lot more than just the tasks. So I have now harnessed this and one wonders too what end?
Like all the temping and volunteering one must capitalise on this. This involves skills I'm not sure I have learnt can even name or describe.
My career thus far has taught me professionalism easy rapport with people, ability to be playful and serious at the right times, to respect everyone even those by instinct I wouldn't as I have learnt everyone has value even it is really well hidden.
So I look forward for direction and a new job.
Friday, 5 October 2012
Living the Dream
So on 28 August I took a job at the Local Arts School. I knew that the job itself was not that fascinating and the pay was not that good, its around thirty hours a week and means I've been keeping up a little with the arts festival on Wednesdays. Also its maternity cover so its not really my job but in another way 10 months at that pay is about all my reserves can stand and gives me a kick to do something else next and its more mine than a temp job.
I have found everyone there to be good at and interested in the job they do. This is lovely.
I've enjoyed the financial bits more than I thought I would and I love that I get to play post offices. Its great that most places I've worked are really e led but using a cdunk dunk stamper each day is really satisfying. Then there is a blue COPY stamp I'm seriously in love with.
Every procedure is logical and ordered which is lovely as time goes on its a challenge to remember all the details of all the procedures and I keep learning more tasks like Banking and I'm not hating it.
I don't get out of my little office that much which is a bit of a shame because every time I do I see amazing and exciting things:
Posters about different typefaces written by Graphics students
The Masters Ceramics show -some pieces were actually taller and wider than some domestic spaces
The Foundation show from around Wales
The book Art display in the foyer
A piano and three pushbikes in an office the piano is for when a subject leader gets stressed
the interior architecture room with a very high shelf full of scale models
huge spaces with windows for workshops
the ceramics room with objects of intrigue at every turn
the art library where I read the RIBA periodical
the view of howard gardens with its bowling green and palm trees
All the staff are friendly and lovely and I've had 6 free walk to work breakfasts, a discounted bus pass, training on software systems and the usual corporate stuff as well as mental health first aid training coming up.
I love it, all that's bothering me is my rookie mistakes and some days having to leave things for the next day.
So I think an excellent opportunity to point me in the next direction I just need to not let the fear of poverty scare me from daring to dream of not waking up.
Jen xxx
I have found everyone there to be good at and interested in the job they do. This is lovely.
I've enjoyed the financial bits more than I thought I would and I love that I get to play post offices. Its great that most places I've worked are really e led but using a cdunk dunk stamper each day is really satisfying. Then there is a blue COPY stamp I'm seriously in love with.
Every procedure is logical and ordered which is lovely as time goes on its a challenge to remember all the details of all the procedures and I keep learning more tasks like Banking and I'm not hating it.
I don't get out of my little office that much which is a bit of a shame because every time I do I see amazing and exciting things:
Posters about different typefaces written by Graphics students
The Masters Ceramics show -some pieces were actually taller and wider than some domestic spaces
The Foundation show from around Wales
The book Art display in the foyer
A piano and three pushbikes in an office the piano is for when a subject leader gets stressed
the interior architecture room with a very high shelf full of scale models
huge spaces with windows for workshops
the ceramics room with objects of intrigue at every turn
the art library where I read the RIBA periodical
the view of howard gardens with its bowling green and palm trees
All the staff are friendly and lovely and I've had 6 free walk to work breakfasts, a discounted bus pass, training on software systems and the usual corporate stuff as well as mental health first aid training coming up.
I love it, all that's bothering me is my rookie mistakes and some days having to leave things for the next day.
So I think an excellent opportunity to point me in the next direction I just need to not let the fear of poverty scare me from daring to dream of not waking up.
Jen xxx
Saturday, 11 August 2012
A Port in a Storm
Well,
Almost there.
In the last few week's my bridesmaid status in two roles has led to me becoming the bride.
Even though I doubted I was anyones second choice, turns out I was wrong.
So I am currently working part time as a temp and doing 7 hours a week paid work for the arts festival. This is very enjoyable and will only last until November but finally I was getting paid to work in the arts. The difference between paid or not, I suppose its pride mainly. Partly its also a bit of relief of more money but mainly its the feeling I'm not kidding myself and being able to say that to people.
Maybe on the back of that, maybe not, I hear a position I had gone for that had been filled by the incumbent temp was now free for ten months for maternity leave. God bless fertility.
I filled in the annoying form, it was one of the most frustrating in terms of formatting and then went for the test and interview. I was somehow less nervous than last time but still managed to get really tight chested so my voice went croaky. I was rambling but obviously got enough information out.
Interesting that they were concerned I would't be satisfied with a non-management position. Definately some truth in the over qualified or over experienced being looked over. And yet the market is full of demanding roles that pay very little.
In fact it pays relatively little but I have been frugal with my redundancy so will survive the next 10 months even if I give up frugality.
I feel a lot of relief, some joy, more when I have tidied up leaving my current part time role as neatly as I can. I don't exactly feel guilty about it, I'm too stealy these days for that, but its a shame its not easy to handover or learn quickly as its a busy demanding needed job.
Also and this must be said, I work with nice people there, two of which are the most amusing colleagues I've ever had the pleasure to work with, so I shall recall them fondly and the job for all its in at the deep end challenge.
I know that all the incidental information I shall learn at CSAD will fascinate me and I'll work with people who share lots of my interests. It will be a relief from change and looking for work for a bit and I hope a step into the knew paid artworld career. And if not at least I can always say "I used to work at the art school" in the same way as I chose Paris as a honeymoon destination partly so I could say "we honeymooned in Paris" and actually we loved the place anyway.
So I'm happy
Actually
Jen
Almost there.
In the last few week's my bridesmaid status in two roles has led to me becoming the bride.
Even though I doubted I was anyones second choice, turns out I was wrong.
So I am currently working part time as a temp and doing 7 hours a week paid work for the arts festival. This is very enjoyable and will only last until November but finally I was getting paid to work in the arts. The difference between paid or not, I suppose its pride mainly. Partly its also a bit of relief of more money but mainly its the feeling I'm not kidding myself and being able to say that to people.
Maybe on the back of that, maybe not, I hear a position I had gone for that had been filled by the incumbent temp was now free for ten months for maternity leave. God bless fertility.
I filled in the annoying form, it was one of the most frustrating in terms of formatting and then went for the test and interview. I was somehow less nervous than last time but still managed to get really tight chested so my voice went croaky. I was rambling but obviously got enough information out.
Interesting that they were concerned I would't be satisfied with a non-management position. Definately some truth in the over qualified or over experienced being looked over. And yet the market is full of demanding roles that pay very little.
In fact it pays relatively little but I have been frugal with my redundancy so will survive the next 10 months even if I give up frugality.
I feel a lot of relief, some joy, more when I have tidied up leaving my current part time role as neatly as I can. I don't exactly feel guilty about it, I'm too stealy these days for that, but its a shame its not easy to handover or learn quickly as its a busy demanding needed job.
Also and this must be said, I work with nice people there, two of which are the most amusing colleagues I've ever had the pleasure to work with, so I shall recall them fondly and the job for all its in at the deep end challenge.
I know that all the incidental information I shall learn at CSAD will fascinate me and I'll work with people who share lots of my interests. It will be a relief from change and looking for work for a bit and I hope a step into the knew paid artworld career. And if not at least I can always say "I used to work at the art school" in the same way as I chose Paris as a honeymoon destination partly so I could say "we honeymooned in Paris" and actually we loved the place anyway.
So I'm happy
Actually
Jen
Sunday, 29 July 2012
One Year On
Well it's nearly one year on from my voluntary redundancy date, I know because the massive bank balance linked with the possibility of no future income co-incided with my brother's birthday. I had to resist buying him an extravagant present.
Good time to review the situation. Well its been emotional, maybe I'm a functioning emotional like others are functioning alcoholics. Certainly not being in a prescribed parameter set busy workplace with a team of people to worry about makes you have more mental space to notice yourself and how you are feeling.
Things have been very trying too. Of course its my own private hell, you learn more about what pushes your buttons and your own neurosis. I always knew I hated working from home and I knew I could often feel really embarrassed when I made a mistake and it stayed with me. I knew I didn't really tolerate being disliked even by people I didn't respect whilst intellectually knowing that its not possible to be liked by everyone. I knew I got lots of energy from working with others and when doing certain tasks craved to be alone. I knew that I grasped concepts and picked up on people's ethos quickly. I knew I was bad at memorising names and dates and numbers without a context and that I had a photographic memory for images and could see styles developing in people's work and could recognise the work of the same artist designer or store with ease. I knew I had good colour memory and the good professional habits of always treating people as human beings first, being helpful and contentious and on the flip side being really sad when I let someone down or upset them.
I am more motivated when learning new skills or information and when other people notice I'm contributing. Actually either of these at once is ok.
I was surprised to learn that the mix of what I loved and hated about my old job was quite so universal. Along with milk and parking being swearwords the gap between what the leaders seem to want from an organisation and what the footsoldiers care about and are attempting is too far and that very little explaining too each other happens at all. As someone who has worked from footsoldier to middle manager I know that what seems important can be not profitable or efficient, but often it feels that you are not appreciated, no matter how hard you try. This really needs to change.
Also I've learned most places that use volunteers just want them to do it and will always go to those who are not just reliable but do not need to be managed or encouraged. Often any encouragement is gratitude but not feedback that skills and endeavours made an effect. I think most people want to feel like their being there mattered.
I also spent some horrid months in the wilderness feeling like all my work in studying my subject, learning about organisations, making contacts and sharing my knowledge was only helping others and making me look like an overexcited schmuck. This culminated in being told to not be myself at interview.
I can be really excitable, I can seem really in your face and confident, but the truth is, I'm self aware I know what I'm competent at but I have no confidence knew people are going to like me or respect me. They will, I'm sure feel I am polite and able to talk to people.
In a large organisation I have found people see the enthusiasm and hard work and harness that and love it, a very small few are threatened by my apparant huge ego or overbearing personality. It never lasts long, the happier I am the quieter I am.
To do that I need to be in a state where I don't feel like I have to prove myself. This is rare for me. With a team I found I never let of trying to prove myself. In a small group or working solo and having had feedback the other's or my line manager trusts me and also knowing I'm doing a good job I'm in the flow and I'm happy. I need very little direction. I will have learnt what everyone else needs and what I need to know and I will crack on. You can be subtle and I will follow, I am tuned in.
My one weakness is expecting everyone else to be attuned and sometimes being too subtle. That's something I need to work on, how to get through to these people?
Anyway I am in a largely positive place. I have 2 part time jobs, one in a Uni which is a temp job - too responsible to be relaxed about but with a very entertaining bunch of people who are clever or witty or both. The other is following on from my volunteering, the pay is helpful and I understand the job and lo and behold all that effort in learning and networking is paying off.
I know my ideal is still a salaried job as looking for work is exhausting and a year of it has well, I've nearly reached my limit!
I am also writing articles and have learned I enjoy writing in an accessible magazine style and not trying to be all academic. So I hope to keep that up.
Also I love invigilating exhibitions which I do making no large future commitments.
Art Club is working as I want it and it is feeding something positive in me, I think I've designed a club that I want to be a member of! I think it could grow and it feels organic and natural to me, so a good thing to keep up.
I've made some lovely friends. Really I have. I've spent more time with my lovely family and I've been to NYC. Overall I should be happy.
And I nearly am.
Jen xxx
Thursday, 7 June 2012
Feeling myself again
Maybe its the rain, I am Welsh after all.
I've been annoyingly introspective and yet I've known I needed to understand myself to move on. Feel like I've been walking the line between sadness and hope, sanity and despair. Logically all along saying so many other people go through worse and so forth so trying not to feel sorry for myself. As Mr Stephen of Fry says it may be just to feel sorry for yourself but it serves no purpose at all.
So here are the possibly contrary conclusions I have come to. I do wish they weren't so tied up in my personal experience of the situation as felt by my personality, I wish they were universal and gave you all some tips or hope or insight. Maybe for one of you they will.
I was losing my role, my status, my place, my ability to be competent in a job I had worked hard to be competent at because expectations changed and were not delivered. I have always learnt and adapted but a part of the organisation was seen as not to fit and rather than ask it to change again it was lopped of. So I left that role feeling that all the effort to glean what was needed and try to achieve it was futile and yet for the years I did it I tried as hard and as creatively as possible. It was like losing a lover and realising you had been holding up the relationship all along.
I try less hard now. Sometimes I'm trying and trying and being determined and then I think, pfff what's the point and the desire seems futile.
I used to dream and hope and strive and that elusive future that I could work for, be lucky to get, knowing I would keep trying in different ways, seeking opportunities, not pissing anyone off, being polite and helpful and honest and hardworking and reliable. I discover that wasn't as easy for me as I thought. I'm worn in places, my ability to build bubbles of hope has mostly gone.
I also motivate by guilt and duty. I feel grateful even in situations where I was giving. is it fair, is it balanced is it enough? I know now only fixing on what you should do is a route to resentment and feeling that things are a drudge. Learning is so much fun when you can go at your on pace but cramming for job applications or writing starts as a lovely challenge and ends as homework on a sunny day, and these days a sunny day I should be doing other things.
When I had my responsible job I was in a tunnel of work and no play. Family time and I went to all the events I should have, little money and little time for going to the cinema, seeing exhibitions, hardly any holidays, not asking people to babysit because I needed them to do so when I needed to work. I put the job first and it put me last, what a selfish relationship that was.
So I know I feel embarassed that I have nothing to show for all my efforts, well yes some things, but no ability to announce oh I do this now. EGO. I should get over it, I think I almost have.
I asked for advice recently as I took seriously an application for a job that woudl fascinate and challenge me and which I genuinely think I can do well. It's part time, pays badly and is a short contract, it's loads of responsibility for the money and when it ends it will look great on the cv, may one day score me a small point to a bigger job but the theme I'm getting is that I can get small experience to aid my career and at the current rate it will take 10 years to get a foot in the door. Maybe I'd enjoy it along the way? Maybe but how we are to live in that time I do not know.
It's also clear that I'm not fully formed for any role I want. I feel part in and part out.
Everyone in seems to have an idea of what I want, but they don't know. So it seems I am not making my desires understood.
I can do serious and responsible things, I can be diplomatic, empathetic, read people and know what is best to say and nudge people to think so that they come to form ideas and solutions I can see are there. But I'm read as a gallumphing childlike playful person and frustratingly my words are taken to mean the exact oppossite of what I mean and when this happens it is always that the oppossite is silly and I feel embarassed and angry and so say nothing to not offend. This is when I have been corrected. I hate being corrected. I try not to do that to other people and it seems childish to say "I KNOWWWW" like we did when we were ten. no-one ever believes you anyway. Maybe I should record myself and then analyse why people just don't understand me. but really its a lot to do with them, so maybe I'll never know. Bit frustrating that.
So what do I want? I want to sever the feeling of duty. I haven't found out how yet, a person's expression can make me feel like I should do something, I need a new response.
I want a job that I can feel competent and useful in that leaves me with a work life balance and an ability to pay the bills. Maybe even a chance to build on it and I want time to spend more on my interests and my friends and I will always make the arts a big part of that mix.
Jobs in the arts is an option in that mix for now and for the future.
That's my manifesto and stated aim from now on.
Jen
I've been annoyingly introspective and yet I've known I needed to understand myself to move on. Feel like I've been walking the line between sadness and hope, sanity and despair. Logically all along saying so many other people go through worse and so forth so trying not to feel sorry for myself. As Mr Stephen of Fry says it may be just to feel sorry for yourself but it serves no purpose at all.
So here are the possibly contrary conclusions I have come to. I do wish they weren't so tied up in my personal experience of the situation as felt by my personality, I wish they were universal and gave you all some tips or hope or insight. Maybe for one of you they will.
I was losing my role, my status, my place, my ability to be competent in a job I had worked hard to be competent at because expectations changed and were not delivered. I have always learnt and adapted but a part of the organisation was seen as not to fit and rather than ask it to change again it was lopped of. So I left that role feeling that all the effort to glean what was needed and try to achieve it was futile and yet for the years I did it I tried as hard and as creatively as possible. It was like losing a lover and realising you had been holding up the relationship all along.
I try less hard now. Sometimes I'm trying and trying and being determined and then I think, pfff what's the point and the desire seems futile.
I used to dream and hope and strive and that elusive future that I could work for, be lucky to get, knowing I would keep trying in different ways, seeking opportunities, not pissing anyone off, being polite and helpful and honest and hardworking and reliable. I discover that wasn't as easy for me as I thought. I'm worn in places, my ability to build bubbles of hope has mostly gone.
I also motivate by guilt and duty. I feel grateful even in situations where I was giving. is it fair, is it balanced is it enough? I know now only fixing on what you should do is a route to resentment and feeling that things are a drudge. Learning is so much fun when you can go at your on pace but cramming for job applications or writing starts as a lovely challenge and ends as homework on a sunny day, and these days a sunny day I should be doing other things.
When I had my responsible job I was in a tunnel of work and no play. Family time and I went to all the events I should have, little money and little time for going to the cinema, seeing exhibitions, hardly any holidays, not asking people to babysit because I needed them to do so when I needed to work. I put the job first and it put me last, what a selfish relationship that was.
So I know I feel embarassed that I have nothing to show for all my efforts, well yes some things, but no ability to announce oh I do this now. EGO. I should get over it, I think I almost have.
I asked for advice recently as I took seriously an application for a job that woudl fascinate and challenge me and which I genuinely think I can do well. It's part time, pays badly and is a short contract, it's loads of responsibility for the money and when it ends it will look great on the cv, may one day score me a small point to a bigger job but the theme I'm getting is that I can get small experience to aid my career and at the current rate it will take 10 years to get a foot in the door. Maybe I'd enjoy it along the way? Maybe but how we are to live in that time I do not know.
It's also clear that I'm not fully formed for any role I want. I feel part in and part out.
Everyone in seems to have an idea of what I want, but they don't know. So it seems I am not making my desires understood.
I can do serious and responsible things, I can be diplomatic, empathetic, read people and know what is best to say and nudge people to think so that they come to form ideas and solutions I can see are there. But I'm read as a gallumphing childlike playful person and frustratingly my words are taken to mean the exact oppossite of what I mean and when this happens it is always that the oppossite is silly and I feel embarassed and angry and so say nothing to not offend. This is when I have been corrected. I hate being corrected. I try not to do that to other people and it seems childish to say "I KNOWWWW" like we did when we were ten. no-one ever believes you anyway. Maybe I should record myself and then analyse why people just don't understand me. but really its a lot to do with them, so maybe I'll never know. Bit frustrating that.
So what do I want? I want to sever the feeling of duty. I haven't found out how yet, a person's expression can make me feel like I should do something, I need a new response.
I want a job that I can feel competent and useful in that leaves me with a work life balance and an ability to pay the bills. Maybe even a chance to build on it and I want time to spend more on my interests and my friends and I will always make the arts a big part of that mix.
Jobs in the arts is an option in that mix for now and for the future.
That's my manifesto and stated aim from now on.
Jen
Sunday, 20 May 2012
Pause for reflection
So I took a holiday, went to NYC like I'd always wanted to. Felt very at home. Went back to my part time temp job and realised how positive it is to feel appreciated and useful. I can see me volunteering for new tasks and getting well stuck in again, even though there is no career there.
Also I realise that all my efforts for myself over the last year or so have not had the directly positive effect I had hoped. I truly feel I have spent most of my previous time in friendships and work encouraging and enabling everyone else and also focusing on learning new skills and making opportunities for myself. Now I feel like all my energy has been somewhat helpful to everyone else and I'm just tired. How horrid to feel so resentful. I don't feel used, I just feel it's unfair.
In some ways it's been great to encourage upcoming artists and graduates. Actually it really has. I love it. And great to be able to do some writing and have it read, even if I'm writing for free. It's been great to contribute to the library, a great resource in a great organisation. But now it's nearly finished, the celebration of it goes on without me. I'm not even free to go to the opening. I know it will be so easy for me to slip away into the unknown. The young pretender, who actually has had a life long passion for art and drama and cinema and all things creative.
But what exactly have I lacked? The conviction that a career in this world is possible, and the confidence to speak up infront of people I genuinely admire.
This will amaze people who know and worked with me. I am hard to impress, I know that all humans are equally of worth and no-one scares me. Don't get intimidated by chief executives, ministers, professors, celebrities and I have friends I really admire, but they are friends and I trust them not to laugh at me.
I realised that when I'm not looking for the dream job or hanging out with people I want to work with or reading about other's success (That facebook phenomenon of everyone saying how great their lives are all the time) I'm quite happy.
It's like the class system or economics, if you see other's wealth you want it.
There is a job I really want that I know I can do.
Madly I also got a request to reapply for a job I went for last year. Why? I wonder. Maybe I was their original 2nd choice, who knows. I have reapplied, but it is not the job I want.
I need to plot a course between giving up and not feeling worthy and going for my dreams with conviction and maintaining my happiness for other's success.
Easy to be generous of spirit when all is well in your own life. I've always been proud of this in my self but I see it is a danger of being a fairweather quality.
I resolve to try harder and not become the bitter fearful underdog. I understand better those that feel that way and judge them less.
Not capitalizing on all my hard work would really hurt. Again I sucked the fun out of it for myself by feeling to scared of my future. I've been really sensible with my redundancy money and we'll be fine for a while yet, but to be sensible you can't relax and enjoy it.
Top thing is that I've had more time with my son and husband, great joys in my life.
If I focus on that and the possibility of what's out there, happy.
If I focus on the uncertainty and hopelessness of trying, despair.
There are genuinely no guarentees that I will get a job and keep paying the mortgage or anything, real ruin is not beyond question and I feel I should face that like an inducement to work harder to find work, but then it just adds to the fear and the fear stops you moving on.
See it's not rational but in this protracted period of job uncertainty self-hypnosis is the only way to keep going. I wish I wasn't so bloody self aware to know that's what I'm doing. And I wish there were some reassuring facts I'm missing that will reveal themselves.
I shall work really hard on my application, knowing that there will be much competition no matter how hard I try, but focus on success besides and I'll keep you informed.
Jen
Also I realise that all my efforts for myself over the last year or so have not had the directly positive effect I had hoped. I truly feel I have spent most of my previous time in friendships and work encouraging and enabling everyone else and also focusing on learning new skills and making opportunities for myself. Now I feel like all my energy has been somewhat helpful to everyone else and I'm just tired. How horrid to feel so resentful. I don't feel used, I just feel it's unfair.
In some ways it's been great to encourage upcoming artists and graduates. Actually it really has. I love it. And great to be able to do some writing and have it read, even if I'm writing for free. It's been great to contribute to the library, a great resource in a great organisation. But now it's nearly finished, the celebration of it goes on without me. I'm not even free to go to the opening. I know it will be so easy for me to slip away into the unknown. The young pretender, who actually has had a life long passion for art and drama and cinema and all things creative.
But what exactly have I lacked? The conviction that a career in this world is possible, and the confidence to speak up infront of people I genuinely admire.
This will amaze people who know and worked with me. I am hard to impress, I know that all humans are equally of worth and no-one scares me. Don't get intimidated by chief executives, ministers, professors, celebrities and I have friends I really admire, but they are friends and I trust them not to laugh at me.
I realised that when I'm not looking for the dream job or hanging out with people I want to work with or reading about other's success (That facebook phenomenon of everyone saying how great their lives are all the time) I'm quite happy.
It's like the class system or economics, if you see other's wealth you want it.
There is a job I really want that I know I can do.
Madly I also got a request to reapply for a job I went for last year. Why? I wonder. Maybe I was their original 2nd choice, who knows. I have reapplied, but it is not the job I want.
I need to plot a course between giving up and not feeling worthy and going for my dreams with conviction and maintaining my happiness for other's success.
Easy to be generous of spirit when all is well in your own life. I've always been proud of this in my self but I see it is a danger of being a fairweather quality.
I resolve to try harder and not become the bitter fearful underdog. I understand better those that feel that way and judge them less.
Not capitalizing on all my hard work would really hurt. Again I sucked the fun out of it for myself by feeling to scared of my future. I've been really sensible with my redundancy money and we'll be fine for a while yet, but to be sensible you can't relax and enjoy it.
Top thing is that I've had more time with my son and husband, great joys in my life.
If I focus on that and the possibility of what's out there, happy.
If I focus on the uncertainty and hopelessness of trying, despair.
There are genuinely no guarentees that I will get a job and keep paying the mortgage or anything, real ruin is not beyond question and I feel I should face that like an inducement to work harder to find work, but then it just adds to the fear and the fear stops you moving on.
See it's not rational but in this protracted period of job uncertainty self-hypnosis is the only way to keep going. I wish I wasn't so bloody self aware to know that's what I'm doing. And I wish there were some reassuring facts I'm missing that will reveal themselves.
I shall work really hard on my application, knowing that there will be much competition no matter how hard I try, but focus on success besides and I'll keep you informed.
Jen
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Where you been girl? Been a while
Yes sorry about that, it has.
Well I think if you read between the lines it was obvious I was experiencing a somewhat meltdown. I knew I was. I was trying to ride the wave of balance between doing everything I can to get a job, build the CV, be productive and be relaxed and fresh enough to not lose my mind and actually give my best. I managed to reach the shore without fully melting but it was a close call.
I have my big dream holiday coming up and I may be nuts but it cost a lot of money (my only redundancy indulgence) and I've waited so long that I didn't want to ruin it by being stressed or ill. I often get a virus when I take leave, I have an awesome sick record but as soon as the adrenaline of working leaves me, wham! So I decided to do no volunteering in April and as I've been in the same PA role for a while I feel pretty much on top of that. So it's been a month of feeling more confident and in my more idle moments more clarity about what skills I have I'm not marketing or being aware of.
Still not very far forward on exactly what I'd like to focus on doing but getting there incrementally. Pleased to find the stepping back is not making me become less ambitious or confident, that was the fear.
March was very busy, finished teaching people how to catalogue the books and wrote procedures for that. Effectively planning for sharing or handing over. Similarly in my current role I'm writing a huge desk notes transition memo type thing. Helpful for me to order my thoughts and helpful for the next person too.
I ran an Auction in March which was successful on many fronts, the item sold for it's reserve, the artist was content with the money made, the community group were happy with the money made, the charity were happy and the buyer was ecstatic. No exaggeration. I now totally understand the 40% commission galleries take is not too much. Lot's of work. A real sense of achievement and made some firm friends too.
Still looking and applying and have volunteered to run a commissioning task for the place I'm working at, not sure if they can or will take me up on the offer but I put a good case forward.
Onwards and sideways!
Jen
Well I think if you read between the lines it was obvious I was experiencing a somewhat meltdown. I knew I was. I was trying to ride the wave of balance between doing everything I can to get a job, build the CV, be productive and be relaxed and fresh enough to not lose my mind and actually give my best. I managed to reach the shore without fully melting but it was a close call.
I have my big dream holiday coming up and I may be nuts but it cost a lot of money (my only redundancy indulgence) and I've waited so long that I didn't want to ruin it by being stressed or ill. I often get a virus when I take leave, I have an awesome sick record but as soon as the adrenaline of working leaves me, wham! So I decided to do no volunteering in April and as I've been in the same PA role for a while I feel pretty much on top of that. So it's been a month of feeling more confident and in my more idle moments more clarity about what skills I have I'm not marketing or being aware of.
Still not very far forward on exactly what I'd like to focus on doing but getting there incrementally. Pleased to find the stepping back is not making me become less ambitious or confident, that was the fear.
March was very busy, finished teaching people how to catalogue the books and wrote procedures for that. Effectively planning for sharing or handing over. Similarly in my current role I'm writing a huge desk notes transition memo type thing. Helpful for me to order my thoughts and helpful for the next person too.
I ran an Auction in March which was successful on many fronts, the item sold for it's reserve, the artist was content with the money made, the community group were happy with the money made, the charity were happy and the buyer was ecstatic. No exaggeration. I now totally understand the 40% commission galleries take is not too much. Lot's of work. A real sense of achievement and made some firm friends too.
Still looking and applying and have volunteered to run a commissioning task for the place I'm working at, not sure if they can or will take me up on the offer but I put a good case forward.
Onwards and sideways!
Jen
Friday, 17 February 2012
First rule of Art Club is Talk about Art Club
Here is the article, thanks Geraldine!
http://roathcardiff.net/2012/02/11/art-club/
Art Club
Jennifer Pearce, arts professional, and volunteer with Made in Roath and art gallery g39 (recently relocated to Roath), has written us a guest post about her new venture, Art Club.
Meeting today at 12 noon, Saturday 11th February, to visit the Contemporary Galleries at the National Museum, and later the Martin Tinney Gallery, Jennifer introduces Art Club here.
ART CLUB IS FOR YOU
So many people say art isn’t for them, or feel they need knowledge or money to access the subject. Art on television and radio has improved, making it more accessible, whilst treating the audience with respect and giving in depth discussion. But the audience has not expanded as much as this would suggest. Art Club exists to break down barriers between this interest and the reality of gallery visits.
Book Clubs helped people expand their reading, try new things and meet people. Why not do that with art? I created Art Club to begin the process of encouraging people to feel included and enjoy the visual arts by inviting friends along one by one, and every time, they wanted to stay longer than planned.
Art Club expands the invite to all to come on this voyage of discovery, see more, see something new, discuss old favourites, meet people and have an enjoyable and interesting time.
Each month a show or exhibition is viewed in your own time or at the group view. We’ll then discuss it over a drink at The Gower Pub (located on the borders of Roath and Cathays), Cardiff on the 2nd Saturday of each month at 2pm.
Visit www.artclubcardiff.co.uk for full listings.
You can follow Jennifer on twitter here.
Meeting today at 12 noon, Saturday 11th February, to visit the Contemporary Galleries at the National Museum, and later the Martin Tinney Gallery, Jennifer introduces Art Club here.
ART CLUB IS FOR YOU
So many people say art isn’t for them, or feel they need knowledge or money to access the subject. Art on television and radio has improved, making it more accessible, whilst treating the audience with respect and giving in depth discussion. But the audience has not expanded as much as this would suggest. Art Club exists to break down barriers between this interest and the reality of gallery visits.
Book Clubs helped people expand their reading, try new things and meet people. Why not do that with art? I created Art Club to begin the process of encouraging people to feel included and enjoy the visual arts by inviting friends along one by one, and every time, they wanted to stay longer than planned.
Art Club expands the invite to all to come on this voyage of discovery, see more, see something new, discuss old favourites, meet people and have an enjoyable and interesting time.
Each month a show or exhibition is viewed in your own time or at the group view. We’ll then discuss it over a drink at The Gower Pub (located on the borders of Roath and Cathays), Cardiff on the 2nd Saturday of each month at 2pm.
Visit www.artclubcardiff.co.uk for full listings.
You can follow Jennifer on twitter here.
Friday, 10 February 2012
Scared but Prepared
So went to interview, lovely people, I was scared but prepared. They were smiley to the point of looking insincere at times but I used my homework, mentioned my South Korean Government Delegation learned a Korean greeting, used it for my communication example. Maybe I waffled a bit due to nerves, some of their questions were wide ranging like "The job entails HR, Finance and Health and Safety functions tell us about when you have been involved with this?" "gulp"
Anyway got a great tour of the Art School understand their safety labelling now and felt I created rapport, did not get it. Someone else had used the systems they have previously. Three jobs down with that feedback. Best to accept that's true and not speculate. Hope is slightly diminished but I am pushing those negatives out, they don't help.
Went to work today, only wept a bit on the bus, first time been alone, reminded myself Stephen Fry says feeling sorry for yourself is justified but pointless. Ok day in work, getting to know the job and playing catch up, lovely colleagues who taught me more HE things to help in my future applications (bless, how nice)
Visited gallery on way home now committed to Library cataloguing every thursday. Good. Best to be involved.
Wrote a blurb on my Art Club idea for Roathcardiff.net, they have kindly agreed to do a feature on the concept so that helps. Got a lovely feedback from a local gallery owner via the website, made my day.
Tomorrow month 2 group view, none of my bankable turner uppers are available it may be just me!
Will in that case research my article for cymruculture.
Ho hum, busy in many directions but meaningful employment not so much. Just glad my bank balance was for once more than I had thought.
Anyway got a great tour of the Art School understand their safety labelling now and felt I created rapport, did not get it. Someone else had used the systems they have previously. Three jobs down with that feedback. Best to accept that's true and not speculate. Hope is slightly diminished but I am pushing those negatives out, they don't help.
Went to work today, only wept a bit on the bus, first time been alone, reminded myself Stephen Fry says feeling sorry for yourself is justified but pointless. Ok day in work, getting to know the job and playing catch up, lovely colleagues who taught me more HE things to help in my future applications (bless, how nice)
Visited gallery on way home now committed to Library cataloguing every thursday. Good. Best to be involved.
Wrote a blurb on my Art Club idea for Roathcardiff.net, they have kindly agreed to do a feature on the concept so that helps. Got a lovely feedback from a local gallery owner via the website, made my day.
Tomorrow month 2 group view, none of my bankable turner uppers are available it may be just me!
Will in that case research my article for cymruculture.
Ho hum, busy in many directions but meaningful employment not so much. Just glad my bank balance was for once more than I had thought.
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
Art Club has a website
Designing a website, I read quite a bit of a website for Dummies book, I tried to refresh my html, limited though it was and then found out the world had moved on and hosted websites for things other than blogs also exist. Had a personal reccommendation for one and now 1 day and £50 later I have my own domain name forever, a simple site for a year and a logo.
The logo was the hard part, I have no talent and no design software. There are logo design websites, some are awful, I searched long and hard and found a lovely one. Free to use on website logos are everywhere and then pay to use in print.
As my point was to get a recognisable logo so everyone knew all my advertising was me I had to pay. Only I couldn't, they wanted dollars, I have that ability (don't ask I won't tell) but as I don't have a USA address I couldn't so 2 or so hours of logo design, I miss it now, gone. It was lovely.
I made one that was similar to it with clipart, well it's like a Golf. Anyway it will work.
I wrote some leaflets and getting it printed needed nice design software, used desktop and did it myself. You may see me on a Library noticeboard near you.
www.artclubcardiff.co.uk
Feel free to link to this and tell your friends.
I have been asked to give some background on why I'm doing this...
I love Art, i'm a culture vulture, always have I think. I spent years in museum's as a kid, it rains in Wales. Both my parents paint a bit, they said "ooh look at that" a lot to me in my life, the way the sun is coming through clouds or a flower in a hedgerow, I started noticing peeling paint or saw faces in scaffolding. I've always looked at buildings and redesigned them in my head, dreamily imagining living in them, well actually lately not so much too grown up now I can imagine the maintenance too.
I talk to people who say art isn't for them. Don't get it, it's ugly, why do we spend money on that crap? I could make that. Galleries just for posh people. But they'll talk for hours about the best pair of trainers they ever had or hankered after or a vinyl record cover or a tattoo they admire. It's all really the same.
They can talk about music or film or adverts or the colour of their neighbour's front door.
Visually they care to some extent and if they can feel that their opinion is as much worthy, which it is, then great, share it.
Everyone should see art lots of it and see artistry in everything they see. They'll be happier, I'll be happier, we may get people buying art not just expensive wallpaper.
This is a dream of mine, art for all
IMAGINE
Jen
The logo was the hard part, I have no talent and no design software. There are logo design websites, some are awful, I searched long and hard and found a lovely one. Free to use on website logos are everywhere and then pay to use in print.
As my point was to get a recognisable logo so everyone knew all my advertising was me I had to pay. Only I couldn't, they wanted dollars, I have that ability (don't ask I won't tell) but as I don't have a USA address I couldn't so 2 or so hours of logo design, I miss it now, gone. It was lovely.
I made one that was similar to it with clipart, well it's like a Golf. Anyway it will work.
I wrote some leaflets and getting it printed needed nice design software, used desktop and did it myself. You may see me on a Library noticeboard near you.
www.artclubcardiff.co.uk
Feel free to link to this and tell your friends.
I have been asked to give some background on why I'm doing this...
I love Art, i'm a culture vulture, always have I think. I spent years in museum's as a kid, it rains in Wales. Both my parents paint a bit, they said "ooh look at that" a lot to me in my life, the way the sun is coming through clouds or a flower in a hedgerow, I started noticing peeling paint or saw faces in scaffolding. I've always looked at buildings and redesigned them in my head, dreamily imagining living in them, well actually lately not so much too grown up now I can imagine the maintenance too.
I talk to people who say art isn't for them. Don't get it, it's ugly, why do we spend money on that crap? I could make that. Galleries just for posh people. But they'll talk for hours about the best pair of trainers they ever had or hankered after or a vinyl record cover or a tattoo they admire. It's all really the same.
They can talk about music or film or adverts or the colour of their neighbour's front door.
Visually they care to some extent and if they can feel that their opinion is as much worthy, which it is, then great, share it.
Everyone should see art lots of it and see artistry in everything they see. They'll be happier, I'll be happier, we may get people buying art not just expensive wallpaper.
This is a dream of mine, art for all
IMAGINE
Jen
Monday, 30 January 2012
Applying for Jobs and the feelings that come
It's like going on a blind date. you are showing what is most appealing of yourself and answering the list of requirements. age range, hair colour, must know Spanish, believe in Jesus, be able to kiss your elbow. The list is very long. You happen to find some lists that you fit and you start to respond, you write it all down, it seems long, you get tired of thinking of new description words that convey how you did it all by yourself and have sincerity not boastfulness and then you feel resentment that they want to be so prescriptive. Do I really have to drive or is a clean driving licence euphemism for wanting a suggestion of compliance of rules to the point of never having had a speeding infringement? I start to suspect their motives, I feel interrogated, challenged, you are not good enough and you will never meet my long exacting list. Then they want references and honestly by now I just want to give them my previous owners telephone numbers and say go on ring them, they'll tell you, why ask me? They won't be coy and they'll recall more because its not oppressive and tiring and almost offensive to them.
I'll wear a shorter skirt, make my intentions clear, I will prostrate myself, lie down at your mercy, consider me for this job? You won't regret it.
There is some, oh god why should I do this again. Every application wants your education and employment history in a different format, each list item is worded differently and each person reading it wants to see different things. I know I have all you need and yet getting you to see that, bother reading it, is all chance and after how many I've started and all the ones I've finished, and nothing to show for it, each word you write I wonder why I bother.
Having left a job and a workplace I was at for 15 years I feel that I am rusty, I am conditioned to the way we recruited there. Each word fine tooth come, considered and thorough. Don't suppose it yielded better results, but it felt fair.
So an interview at last. I feel some hope but this weight of effort and dissapointment must be thrown away first and how I wonder?
I'll wear a shorter skirt, make my intentions clear, I will prostrate myself, lie down at your mercy, consider me for this job? You won't regret it.
There is some, oh god why should I do this again. Every application wants your education and employment history in a different format, each list item is worded differently and each person reading it wants to see different things. I know I have all you need and yet getting you to see that, bother reading it, is all chance and after how many I've started and all the ones I've finished, and nothing to show for it, each word you write I wonder why I bother.
Having left a job and a workplace I was at for 15 years I feel that I am rusty, I am conditioned to the way we recruited there. Each word fine tooth come, considered and thorough. Don't suppose it yielded better results, but it felt fair.
So an interview at last. I feel some hope but this weight of effort and dissapointment must be thrown away first and how I wonder?
Sunday, 22 January 2012
London Baby Yeah
So as usual said lovely friend and I met up at Paddington Station for a day of following our noses and talking lots. She thinks I put real care and attention into making a day that suits her but it seems we fortunately enjoy the same things, I just drag her out of her comfort zone just enough. We went into a few intimate galleries in Camden and Fitzrovia, saw lots of works in ceramic. Slip molded tubes stuck to a canvas that as my non art gallery going friend noted, captured movement. We also saw canvases with sculptures attached boxed in as if one of Rene Magritte's Empty Mask paintings had taken three dimensional form. We saw a painting by a trained draughtsman of london and Thames in the snow, slightly sentimental depiction of the late 50's with some Lowri influences if you ask me, sells really well.
Then when I was thinking lets do no more galleries across the street I spotted in the corner of a window a small scale David Begbie piece, I was sure. I'd seen a show of his in Shad Thames about 15 years ago and had the catalogue for years. We crossed and entered and sure enough it was, we looked at the new work and the lady in the gallery said she preferred the early stuff. We agreed that his amazing accuracy in capturing the human form, muscles, flesh and so forth and them mixing genders in one form was so intriguing. I always found them compelling and here they were lit so well that you got the shadows to mirror the objects. In the basement gallery his newest reproduceable work in 2D cast the same shadows as the 3D, one of Amy Winehouse was part of a recent charity show. Impressive but not as compelling. We talked about all the work and she introduced herself as David Begbie's wife, this was so exciting, normally I'm not phased by the cult of the artist bull' but he'd become part of my mental landscape so ot was so nice to be connected, plus she kept asking me my opinion and shucks who doesn't like that?
It's nearly Chinese New Year so we had lunch in Soho, the Royal Dragon, can not say how delicious it was, so fresh, its not the best looking place from the outside, but trust me, its good.
We walked lots and tubed little so by the time we reached festival hall I was grateful for a sit down and cake. Outsider Tart produced my second ever real life conversation with a New Yorker and a very chocaletely satisfyingly textured Hepburn, after visiting Tiffany's earlier all the possible get ready for NYC Art scene and holiday in May puns were complete.
Then when I was thinking lets do no more galleries across the street I spotted in the corner of a window a small scale David Begbie piece, I was sure. I'd seen a show of his in Shad Thames about 15 years ago and had the catalogue for years. We crossed and entered and sure enough it was, we looked at the new work and the lady in the gallery said she preferred the early stuff. We agreed that his amazing accuracy in capturing the human form, muscles, flesh and so forth and them mixing genders in one form was so intriguing. I always found them compelling and here they were lit so well that you got the shadows to mirror the objects. In the basement gallery his newest reproduceable work in 2D cast the same shadows as the 3D, one of Amy Winehouse was part of a recent charity show. Impressive but not as compelling. We talked about all the work and she introduced herself as David Begbie's wife, this was so exciting, normally I'm not phased by the cult of the artist bull' but he'd become part of my mental landscape so ot was so nice to be connected, plus she kept asking me my opinion and shucks who doesn't like that?
 |
| David Begbie 2011 |
It's nearly Chinese New Year so we had lunch in Soho, the Royal Dragon, can not say how delicious it was, so fresh, its not the best looking place from the outside, but trust me, its good.
We walked lots and tubed little so by the time we reached festival hall I was grateful for a sit down and cake. Outsider Tart produced my second ever real life conversation with a New Yorker and a very chocaletely satisfyingly textured Hepburn, after visiting Tiffany's earlier all the possible get ready for NYC Art scene and holiday in May puns were complete.
Jen
Monday, 16 January 2012
New Year New Ideas?
For the first time since leaving school I had all the days off between Christmas and New Year and I was not well, in fact only this last weekend have we touched the Christmas alcohol in our home, we spent our family time together playing Skyrim and drinking soup.
Since then I've been working as a receptionist at a Charity which has been badly paid, hectic and lovely. I've felt vital and capable and useful and quite proud of my abilities to learn quickly, get along with everyone and recall people's names for at least as long as it takes to put them through or call the staff member to meet them in reception. Thenk goodness for my talent in deciphering bad handwriting and upside down for being able to use the sign in book as a guide before saying goodbye! Talented, yes.
Also my new stationery friend the Dymo label writer, can I get a woo for "Integral Guillotine" I mean the joy of pressing a chunky silver button with a scissors icon to hear a satisfy Crrrunch and a perfectly trimmed label drops effortlessly on to the desk, hmmm. I made one typo Friendi when attempting Friends, was I going for Welsh or Italian? Anyhoo I now have my own label, Friendi, it may just label my mobile.
So my To Do list in the Art World has been quietly growing. I realise that its all of my own making and I know I need to stop adding to it as it as just tiring to think of.
I shall write for a local website about Art, just when I decide precisely what
I shall review and promote another artist's great idea, just when I can find the tone for its non-core audience, hard.
I am writing a proposal for an Auction for an artist;s approval
I have begun my monthly group for viewing and discussing visual art. I will be designing posters and marketing for this venture but so far every second Saturday at 2pm I have a venue booked and some people who will come again! Plus a plan for the next three months.
I will apply for at least one of those three jobs I found.
I'm off to London this saturday to see my good friend and this will be after squeezing in getting my roots done on Friday, hopefully the hair confidence and time on a train will help magic all this along.
I think learning so many temp and volunteer jobs and meeting so many people and reading so many books has just depleted me, even aside from the studying applying and getting rejected.
I have devised a beach in which I can not sit, but a pebbly surface that bruises gently and slips me toward the sea where I am buffeted by the steady and relentless waves. I need a cushion, a windbreak, a towel, a boat - sand even and a bucket and spade and one day an ice cream damn it and a bit of sun.
Since then I've been working as a receptionist at a Charity which has been badly paid, hectic and lovely. I've felt vital and capable and useful and quite proud of my abilities to learn quickly, get along with everyone and recall people's names for at least as long as it takes to put them through or call the staff member to meet them in reception. Thenk goodness for my talent in deciphering bad handwriting and upside down for being able to use the sign in book as a guide before saying goodbye! Talented, yes.
Also my new stationery friend the Dymo label writer, can I get a woo for "Integral Guillotine" I mean the joy of pressing a chunky silver button with a scissors icon to hear a satisfy Crrrunch and a perfectly trimmed label drops effortlessly on to the desk, hmmm. I made one typo Friendi when attempting Friends, was I going for Welsh or Italian? Anyhoo I now have my own label, Friendi, it may just label my mobile.
So my To Do list in the Art World has been quietly growing. I realise that its all of my own making and I know I need to stop adding to it as it as just tiring to think of.
I shall write for a local website about Art, just when I decide precisely what
I shall review and promote another artist's great idea, just when I can find the tone for its non-core audience, hard.
I am writing a proposal for an Auction for an artist;s approval
I have begun my monthly group for viewing and discussing visual art. I will be designing posters and marketing for this venture but so far every second Saturday at 2pm I have a venue booked and some people who will come again! Plus a plan for the next three months.
I will apply for at least one of those three jobs I found.
I'm off to London this saturday to see my good friend and this will be after squeezing in getting my roots done on Friday, hopefully the hair confidence and time on a train will help magic all this along.
I think learning so many temp and volunteer jobs and meeting so many people and reading so many books has just depleted me, even aside from the studying applying and getting rejected.
I have devised a beach in which I can not sit, but a pebbly surface that bruises gently and slips me toward the sea where I am buffeted by the steady and relentless waves. I need a cushion, a windbreak, a towel, a boat - sand even and a bucket and spade and one day an ice cream damn it and a bit of sun.
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
I've had two events to go to over the last weekend, Friday night a thank you event for Madeinroath where I finally got to meet the poorly panel member, she did not dissapoint. I saw and reacquainted myself with people form made in roath, had a home made mince pie and slice of christmas cake, logo decorated and all. Also had some Mrs Beeton's recipe mulled wine, best I've ever had, will be looking that recipe up.
I did, here it is:
TO MULL WINE.
INGREDIENTS.- To every pint of wine allow 1 large cupful of water, sugar and spice to taste.
Mode.-In making preparations like the above, it is very difficult to give the exact proportions of ingredients like sugar and spice, as what quantity might suit one person would be to another quite distasteful. Boil the spice in the water until the flavour is extracted, then add the wine and sugar, and bring the whole to the boiling-point, when serve with strips of crisp dry toast, or with biscuits. The spices usually used for mulled wine are cloves, grated nutmeg, and cinnamon or mace. Any kind of wine may be mulled, but port and claret are those usually selected for the purpose; and the latter requires a very large proportion of sugar. The vessel that the wine is boiled in must be delicately clean, and should be kept exclusively for the purpose. Small tin warmers may be purchased for a trifle, which are more suitable than saucepans, as, if the latter are not scrupulously clean, they spoil the wine, by imparting to it a very disagreeable flavour. These warmers should be used for no other purpose."
Not sure that helped, but I can confirm you can heat it with tea candles, about 20 of them for a 6 pint saucepan on a stand, just be patient.
g39 had their opening, they are now just off City Road behind the Earnest Willows pub. Spent Friday daytime leafleting and scanning more library books, by Saturday the library had transformed into an intimate slide show space of shots of the previous venue and shows, it seemed warmer.
The main space contained the 18ft Christmas Tree with lights, I was told the story of treacherous balancing and stretching that made it so, I only hope that getting them down will be accomplished more easily. Also the outlines in real dimensions of the old space over three floors wer marked out. Tiny.
I remarked that use of the space was so cunning and of course in the new space new cunning ways will be needed. One visitor pointed out its all horizontals whereas before it was all verticals, too true. But it's still bigger and one wall being used her to project words with comfy chairs infront of it did make you realsie how easy it is to visually divide. 2 staff members were up into the early hours making soup and mulled cider was also on offer. Yum, worth the effort on this cold day and it was great to here people who had never visited g39 before had come for the first time. Brilliant. Always like a new audience.
Talking of which have started my Art Club Discussion group, feel welcome do, 14th January Gower Pub, Roath, Cardiff, 2pm
I will be taking time this festive season to assess my options. Currently working tomorrow and then first three weeks in January temp wise. Lots of other things have dissapeared been reduced or just gone quiet. Suspect busy time has part to do wth it. Hav eheard talking to people over the socialising about some interview questions and I am not the only one to perceive that feedback of why did not get it does not refelct the job advert. This was true of my first application for a finance person for a Theatre over a year ago, feedback was everyone else wrote pages on their enthusiasm for Theatre, wheras I had killed myself getting a Foundation in Financial Management qualification to boost my chances. Suggestion was they put very broad requirements so they can narrow the field. Makes sense, that or considering how many applications they choose the obvious known person, the one who suggests something they didn't even think of they liked or something like that. It's totally a recruiters market and It was suggested to me i was knew to the field. Well yes and no. All my life all my hobby time has been spent on the Arts, only followed sport since I got a son, not interested in shopping, oh well another hobby is food I'll concede that, but A level and degree choices and all the books I read nope, Drama, Film, Visual Art all the way.
At least I'm making more friends who share an interest and that's great. resources of time were too small to indulge my interests enough and I suspect that resources of money will dent it too now. But I shall try and maintain and look for work that will not detract too much from my goal.
No decisions till after Christmas is the plan, still have wrapping and delivering to Finish and a list of I shoulds to get through,
Jen
I did, here it is:
TO MULL WINE.
INGREDIENTS.- To every pint of wine allow 1 large cupful of water, sugar and spice to taste.
Mode.-In making preparations like the above, it is very difficult to give the exact proportions of ingredients like sugar and spice, as what quantity might suit one person would be to another quite distasteful. Boil the spice in the water until the flavour is extracted, then add the wine and sugar, and bring the whole to the boiling-point, when serve with strips of crisp dry toast, or with biscuits. The spices usually used for mulled wine are cloves, grated nutmeg, and cinnamon or mace. Any kind of wine may be mulled, but port and claret are those usually selected for the purpose; and the latter requires a very large proportion of sugar. The vessel that the wine is boiled in must be delicately clean, and should be kept exclusively for the purpose. Small tin warmers may be purchased for a trifle, which are more suitable than saucepans, as, if the latter are not scrupulously clean, they spoil the wine, by imparting to it a very disagreeable flavour. These warmers should be used for no other purpose."
Not sure that helped, but I can confirm you can heat it with tea candles, about 20 of them for a 6 pint saucepan on a stand, just be patient.
g39 had their opening, they are now just off City Road behind the Earnest Willows pub. Spent Friday daytime leafleting and scanning more library books, by Saturday the library had transformed into an intimate slide show space of shots of the previous venue and shows, it seemed warmer.
The main space contained the 18ft Christmas Tree with lights, I was told the story of treacherous balancing and stretching that made it so, I only hope that getting them down will be accomplished more easily. Also the outlines in real dimensions of the old space over three floors wer marked out. Tiny.
I remarked that use of the space was so cunning and of course in the new space new cunning ways will be needed. One visitor pointed out its all horizontals whereas before it was all verticals, too true. But it's still bigger and one wall being used her to project words with comfy chairs infront of it did make you realsie how easy it is to visually divide. 2 staff members were up into the early hours making soup and mulled cider was also on offer. Yum, worth the effort on this cold day and it was great to here people who had never visited g39 before had come for the first time. Brilliant. Always like a new audience.
Talking of which have started my Art Club Discussion group, feel welcome do, 14th January Gower Pub, Roath, Cardiff, 2pm
I will be taking time this festive season to assess my options. Currently working tomorrow and then first three weeks in January temp wise. Lots of other things have dissapeared been reduced or just gone quiet. Suspect busy time has part to do wth it. Hav eheard talking to people over the socialising about some interview questions and I am not the only one to perceive that feedback of why did not get it does not refelct the job advert. This was true of my first application for a finance person for a Theatre over a year ago, feedback was everyone else wrote pages on their enthusiasm for Theatre, wheras I had killed myself getting a Foundation in Financial Management qualification to boost my chances. Suggestion was they put very broad requirements so they can narrow the field. Makes sense, that or considering how many applications they choose the obvious known person, the one who suggests something they didn't even think of they liked or something like that. It's totally a recruiters market and It was suggested to me i was knew to the field. Well yes and no. All my life all my hobby time has been spent on the Arts, only followed sport since I got a son, not interested in shopping, oh well another hobby is food I'll concede that, but A level and degree choices and all the books I read nope, Drama, Film, Visual Art all the way.
At least I'm making more friends who share an interest and that's great. resources of time were too small to indulge my interests enough and I suspect that resources of money will dent it too now. But I shall try and maintain and look for work that will not detract too much from my goal.
No decisions till after Christmas is the plan, still have wrapping and delivering to Finish and a list of I shoulds to get through,
Jen
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Hidden Art
At least inspired my Dad do go and have a look at some Art. He went to the St David's Hall show and make a shortlist of stuff he really liked, some of which I concerred with and he chose the other work by Pascal Michel-Dubois than the one I had actually considered buying him, so at least I hadn't spent in vain.
My new temp job is in Cardiff Uni on Newport Road. Had lunch in the cafeteria today and blow me but there are 7 canvases from around 1940-1960 and then in their midst a naff repro of Monet's poppyfield. No labels, one crooked and all being ignored. Some look really high quality and I will investigate!
One is a painting of the JFK assassination, its all dense layours of black paint, very matt and velvety with colour, mostly bright lime for outlines and Jackie's pink pillarbox hat, the view is cropped so the bottom is the top edge of the car, its brilliant.
People should see them.
Planning Art Club like Book Club more in my mind now.
Loving the new temp job, today "you've been marvelous" and slightly challenging and learning new word and excel tricks, thought I'd exhausted that, but good to learn. Only downside staplers and so forth not so great, in fact the keyboard is rather worn and slowed my typing speed.
Nous Allon
Jen
My new temp job is in Cardiff Uni on Newport Road. Had lunch in the cafeteria today and blow me but there are 7 canvases from around 1940-1960 and then in their midst a naff repro of Monet's poppyfield. No labels, one crooked and all being ignored. Some look really high quality and I will investigate!
One is a painting of the JFK assassination, its all dense layours of black paint, very matt and velvety with colour, mostly bright lime for outlines and Jackie's pink pillarbox hat, the view is cropped so the bottom is the top edge of the car, its brilliant.
People should see them.
Planning Art Club like Book Club more in my mind now.
Loving the new temp job, today "you've been marvelous" and slightly challenging and learning new word and excel tricks, thought I'd exhausted that, but good to learn. Only downside staplers and so forth not so great, in fact the keyboard is rather worn and slowed my typing speed.
Nous Allon
Jen
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