I've had enough

Sorry, but I have.

I've had enough rejections and annoying feedback.

I quote you from a selection of the jobs and trainee posts I have applied for over the last 12 months:

"we had over seventy good quality applications.  There were probably thirty candidates  I would have been happy to see on the shortlist - including you so don’t take the rejection too much to heart"

"We had more than 60 applications - with a long list of around 15 (of which you were included). "

"Yes we have completed the shortlist and I'm afraid you have not been selected for an interview but thank you for your interest in working for our organisation."

"Whilst we felt that you met all the essential criteria, you did not score as highly as our shortlisted candidates in terms of providing the depth of evidence for 'Negotiating skills, tact and ability to understand other's perspectives' and 'Basic understandingof the right to request information under the Freedom of Information Act2000, the exemptions from disclosure and the interaction with the DataProtection Act 1998'.  In addition you did not score as highly forthe desirable criteria as our shortlisted candidates."

"Your enthusiasm and proactivity shone through in your application. It was abundantly clear that you had many transferable skills that would be useful in the internship role. You demonstrated that you had experience in managing people and coordinating a range of situations and it was obvious that any administrative task in relation to the role would be well within your capability.
However, when considered alongside other applications, although you clearly have a substantial interest in the visual arts and you are a keen and quick learner, you were at this stage unable to demonstrate the experience of this field that will be required "

"Hi Jen, thanks very for your application which was clearly, fully and correctly filled in - always a bonus!  Sorry that you weren't shortlisted on this occasion. The standard of applications were very high and we had people apply who had more practical relevant experience of managing and working in theatre box offices and who met the person specification more closely. Be assured there was nothing fundamentally wrong with your application."

"We had many applicants who had a lot of  direct experience of marketing both performing companies and venues - and therefore had a very broad and in depth range of skills and knowledge."

"We received a very large number of extremely strong applications and on this occasion I am afraid we were not able to short list you.
I am extremely sorry to disappoint you - particularly given your strong connection with the company - and wish you all the best."

Some as you can see are more maddenning than others, some seem to say give up there's loads of great people in the market so why are you bothering?

I've had feedback to talk more about my love of the arts and then today I get be brief and use less words. I think there is a real lack of ability to write a great job and person spec' and I need to lead them to see how my skills fit, and I just can't be arsed. I know this will change but today I'm just full of rage. I work really hard whether being paid or not and I've always done a great job and I learn fast and I'm really adaptable and reliable, unfailingly nice to everyone and professional in my dealings and willing, and I'll do hours of research to be prepared for tasks in my own time and I smile nearly all the time, I know that can be annoying so I even know when to stop, I create energy and enthusiasm in a team and did I mention I try really hard, and I encourage others and I come up with ideas and I try to create efficiencies and upward manage but also learn what my leaders want and mould my ways of working to fit and make sure I pull in the same direction, I buy into a group's ethos and promote it and uphold it and I treat everyone with dignity and respect and always try to learn and grow and try harder and be better.

And today I just want to scream and cry and sulk.

I think I shall take a day soon and just do that and get it out of my system

Jen