Started at 10 finished at 6.

One of the things I really wanted experience in was applying for funding. Did this today, went through previous financial records and visitor figures and assessed which special groups and geographic areas we covered and wrote persausive words and sent it off! Grants officer verbally reckons its in the bag, yay.

Also its clear better record keeping would have made it easier so that's now in the plan for this year.

Also did some social network marketing and am still finding that I know more people in the art world than I think. Good job I've got a memory for faces and names, because when someone is mentioned I'm like "oh yeah works at blah blah" or "the printmaker" or whatever.

Keep in touch with people be honest about what you want and be polite and then no stress about being asked to do what you don't want or being found out will befall you.

I'm 36 now and happy to start singing "I am what I am"

Even if I still polish it a bit.

Talking of which roots are getting done tomorrow,

Jen

Starter for 10

Nearly all jobs in the Arts I have come across start at 10, then drink coffee for 30 minutes then get inspired then go nuts for several hours and then 5 go home to get out by 8 and socialise at some art thing like an opening until late. If I'd known this as a student I would have joined in sooner and still be there.

Well probably not, I wasn't a typical student I got into debt by ordering too many pizzas and cooking for friends, we sometimes had wine but drinking was herbal tea or british rail bog standard at epic breakfasts, sure some nights I stayed up late, some days I slept in and one night I stayed up all night in a sleeping bag on a hillock only to discover how ominous bunny rabbits in a line, like native americans on a ridge, eyes flashing in the dawn's early light can truly be. Unforgettable that sunrise - but not in the way I had envisaged.

Also I lacked certain types of confidence. Art History students are a mix of public school kids and mature students who love art. I made friends with the latter and was scared of the first. I spent most of my life as a student feeling like I'd snuck in and had no right to be there. I worked, I loved the library, I found the subject fascinating and discovered big concepts fazed me not and that was unusual.

I backpacked in Scotland most easter breaks and in Edinburgh had my first experience of gallery fatigue. I saw everything and got to the point of not being able to take anything in visually at all any more. I went to Glasgow and got drunk for a few days instead, then visited every Rennie Mackintosh site I could.

This leads me to how does a girl from a state school end up studying art history anyway? Too main factors mum and dad. So far so standard. Dad because he had sunday access to me and my brother and galleries are cheap and good in the rain so we went to many and disagreed in taste extremely, this tired him. I recall seeing Rene Magritte's the empty mask, I would not be moved from in front of it. I was 6. It still makes me sort of happy and calm and mesmerised now. It's not an intellectual response it just is.

Then mum, when I was studying for A levels she and I clashed somewhat so I went to the Central Library to study and the reading area was next to the art history books. Midge Ure had done a documentary on Charled Rennie Mackintosh and there was a book at the end of the row about him. I started reading the entire section and neglected my home work. When the UCAS sorting questionnaire came around it ask "Would you like to study Art History?" I said yes paid my £15 and went away to find out what the devil Art History was. Predictably it predicted I should study art history and because aside from being crap at technical drawing I'd be as Architect by now I looked for course with Architecture too. If you can't do, study.

Last day in temp job today.

Tomorrow the arts festival.

I start at 10

Jen

An unpublished blog

BigLittleCity:Cardiff  The Old Library Hayes until June 2011

Following a fun opening last Thursday night, which I jealously heard about, I took the recommendation to see this new exhibition on Saturday 16 April.

Up the sea of stone steps you are asked to pause and contemplate how your ancestor may have stood just there before gaining knowledge in the Library. As half of my family are Cardiffians it did led me to wonder if my father was the first generation freed from the long hours of the bakery to be the library fanatic he is now and has raised me to be.

Thinking of that early photograph of Wells’ cathedral steps I first see the glass plates of Cardiff Castle and the animal wall. These are wondrous, really crisp in the detail and yet so smoky that you have to peer making seeing them a more intense experience. Somehow it enlivened childhood memories of the place like flicking through an old family album.

There are representations of people in the indoor market, portraits of them with their stalls and a photomontage of Queen Street and its shoppers and people from Butetown taken in spotlight. Also there are caricatures of city people, some you may recognise as the characters of our streets. Here is a genuine representation of yes the diversity of Cardiff, this is something you can prove statistically, but here you also get a sense of how Cardiffians are.  Proud to be who we are and happy to get to know you and accept you as you are. It makes Cardiff a rich and welcoming place.

This exhibition has many interactive elements, real projects you can engage with and these will run until the close in June. There are still animals from the Castle wall to claim and animate, you can recreate the City’s coat of Arms, vote on the gate design for Bute Park, write about what makes Cardiff special to you and stick it on the wall, scribble on the whiteboard visitor book or submit artistic items of your own.

Whilst I was there I was excited to see not only Charles Byrd’s work but the man himself. A living legend surrounded by young artists who asked him many questions that he with pleasure and patience answered and they hung on his every word.

There are famous names and locally known artists.  Stained glass art by Angelina Hall who is showing an animated view of the bay from Penarth, Paintings and Prints of local scenes by Helen Lush, beautiful paper cut work by Rehanna Chaudri.  Also there are Graffiti Murals by NerveArt and a wall of skateboard designs.

These elements will change every five weeks and there is already a range of work here to interest all. The space has been used remarkably well; it’s like a modern labyrinth with constant interest and diversions. I am so happy it shows what I have always said about my city, it has an interesting history, a cosmopolitan present and a bright future.

I certainly intend to visit here regularly; hope to see you and maybe your work there too.

Jennifer Pearce for Llanover Hall

More info:  http://www.biglittlecity.com/news/

Redundancy

Stuff that happenned brought back some redundancy emotions today so thought it helpful to share. Of course all redundancies and all people's reaction to it will differ somewhat but if it happens to you try and remember that you can not be made redundant only the job can. Start seperating yourself from the job asap to help cope.

I set my self rules;
1.don't fall out with anyone
2.encourage others to respect each other
3.talk to a counsellor and get your head straight
4.dont make your own truth, stay open minded for as long as possible
5 capture all of your experience and skills and get colleugues to pitch in to capture them
6 take all opportunities for development offerred
7 learn any new tricks in your own time you possibly can
8 dream big then deal with the problems getting there
9 Make sure staff have all the tools if they choose to use them its up to them
10 know when to challange respectfully, I found this was most of the time

golden rule is make lemonade with the lemons

Jen

Its a Wonderful Life

Today lots of lovely new colleaugues were encouraging me to apply for permanent positions and saying lovely things like I was efficient and personable. Did virtual full day of filing today and I was getting tobe extremely quick, Thought I hated filing but apparently its just the odd one piece of filing at a time I hate. fiddly and unrewarding, wheras seeing a pile dissppear, well 13 boxes with 6 to go, is extremely satisfying like ironing baby clothes.

It got me to the point of really considering it, its 6 grand less than my last job, lovely office, meaningful work and great holidays, nice distance to travel and so forth and we'd be OK financially but i knwo I'd get stuck, staty there for ever and then all I'd have was she was a civil servant and then worked in admin for research science. Its not bad but its not reflective of me.

I want a battered suitcase with labels on it and my name in Gold letters and hearing ships and train whistles, i've got to get this town out of my hair, there's a run on the bank and all that, Aaaaahhhhh!

Well I've seen the end of that movie and I know I love a lot about Cardiff and I married the right guy and have a lovely kid but please I will get out of the comfort zone and stay positive and focused on "what I want to do" for just a little longer.

Jen

Smiles too expensive in the Art world?

So met the lovely Made in Roath person for tea in a lovely local coffee shop I last frequented in the snow. Actually on my way to work and office closed so sat in there with an apple and cinnamon drink, delicious.

It being so hectic she was 30 minutes late so tried to go online but no network coverage. What else but people watching? Its a friendly place, full of quite well off people who may be architects or surgeons in their working weeks, many with beautiful curly haired children with names like Noah or Ariadne, but strangely didn't feel excluded.

When we did have a discussion about what needs doing one thing that did crop up was making people welcome. Its hard to get across on paper, so that's something that needs to be embedded in all the marketing but when using lots of venues its not really possible to change the established culture.

Some venues don't have staff that smile at you but people who do that slightly challenging looking you assessing your suitability to share their oxygen thing that make-up counter staff are sometimes unfairly famous for. This is a special shame as many people who pluck up courage to visit venues for the firts time feel they wish they never came and will never come again. I don't want to over commercialise the arts but they do need custom so some wlecoming customer service would be nice.

Helpfully we are on the same page with this so part of my task will be to co-ordinate volunteers to meet and greet people in venues where the staff don't.

I will be running a family drawing event. Saturday 15th October St Andrew's Church in Roath Cardiff will be hosting a BIG DRAW free family event, all children to bring adults along 12-4pm, materials provided, drop in! Part of Made in Roath Arts Festival www.madeinroath.com

And have been spreading the word on that since getting home. I'll be temping I promised monday-wednesday so Thursday will be at organisers house all day and Friday hair done and then out with other escapees from my previous job.

hugs

Jen

"Extraordinary!"

Last day being a PA, I cleaned the desk, printed and emailed the handover document and told everyone to keep to the line we just about coped without you, next week I'm staying on for at least 3 days to do filing and generally help out.

Told by another department my new boss described me as "extraordinary" whereas that department I was told told my boss I was very impressive and asked all the right questions. Satisfying that being resourceful and after 15 years in admin I really know my way around an office.

Had to sort Scottish travel today, haven't been there for years and got quite wistful. Now having money coming in planning more holidays mentally. Have once in lifetime holiday booked and paid for to NYC first two weeks in May next year and madly although it was positively overwhelming emotionally when I finally booked it it's only now I am starting to look forward to it. If you are feeling satisfied and busy you enjoy your holidays more.

Heard from Made in Roath will be meeting up sunday at 3, tomorrow then it's chores but hairdresser on hols.

Jen

Heard from festival do I have time free this weekend? I said yes have all of it. 

Also asked to temp next week.

So potentially a 16 day long working week and no real time to get hair done or do banking and similar chores, oh well apparently grey is in.

Networking like a bastard is what I have been doing. I think it is a habit to get into. My dad ran his own business from our house and when I was really small I had to answer the phone in a business like way, always ask whose speaking and write down messages. A year in a call centre only ingrained that, and I'm pretty good understanding a wide variety of accents.

Met most of the staff at work now and at lunch they ask about me and I tell them what I'm up to and what I want to do.

Spread the word

Career Change Top Tips

Good day in work, not too many new things added to the pile so actually almost got to the bottom of it all and my manic forward planning paid off when meeting attendees arrived 30 minutes early, who does that? and I had all the slides and handouts and room ready and could just pass them over. It's like that scene in Austin Powers "no-one considers the henchmen" "no-one considers the administrators"

At lunch again talking to people about their career choices and how to move things forward. People knwo what they want often but not how to get it and also people don't know what they want, so having really studied this for myself and finding it fascinating I shoudl really share.

Top tips

- Firstly make a list of any specific times in the last week you felt happy about something task related then really examine what you felt
-Decide what 5 specific things you absolutely couldn't have in your new job
-List your hobbies and analyse is it the what who where or why that makes you do them
-question all the barriers you have just mentaly put in
-lastly write words down for all the positive stuff left on individual cards, put them in groups of 3 and list jobs that use 2 at least of the three things, shuffle and continue you'll end up with lots of job ideas.
-Then relax about it go on holiday or just get on with your life for a few weeks, look again at the list and then start to research the jobs that appeal
-volunteer or shadow the role or similar to test it
-plan one step at a time to get there

You may not end up exactly where you intended but you'll be close.

That's the theory and so far in small steps getting there.

Museums was part of my plan and after going on back scenes tours realised many jobs though task fascinating to me are so person alone in a room all week for me that I would go insane. Public or administrative or managerial are way more natural to me.

Know yourself

Jen

Tomorrow never comes

So

My husband is having my get up stupidly early and go to London day tomorrow. I had a promise of 1 day a week volunteering at RADA, and I booked train tickets and then they cancelled on me not believing I would really commit to it. It was a huge dissapointment, all I have to show for it is a visitor sticker.

Today talking to a colleaugue discovered she studied English literature and Anthropology but ended up in clinical trials because no work in her field. We talked about semiotics and semiology and she likes art so I suggested she look at the visual arts, she is very academically qualified and she lights up when she talks about semiotics so why not?

Hmm developing others has been my theme today, I do wonder how that fits with my future as it is such an instinct of mine.

Jen

Monday Blues

Well, it just had to happen for a few hours work just felt like work. Then some positive feedback and I felt better, I'm so needy, just need occassional positive feedback and I'll work like a dog.

Took raspberry cheesecake for lunch, lovely friend made it and brought it over yesterday right after I'd stuffed myself, made them all jealous and it was zingy, but maybe contributed to afternoon slump via sugar crash.

Saw musical friend on way home, well my husband taught him guitar, he had never heard of Made in Roath and I have generally been spreading the word today.

Reading all my email updates, came across the latest Voluntary Arts Network newsletter and one of the things mentioned was learning to sign. I sign BSL but only to young child standard, one of my beautiful nieces is deaf so we all sign some. I am such a natural talker with my hands that it is easy for me. According to her mum I sign when I'm drunk, but I'm coherent. I tried signing before my son could talk, but he never paid it any attention, he learnt hot and that was it. But I did learn Cat in the Hat in sign as it was his favourite and I got a bit bored reading it EVERY night. It's fun to sign, has some great visual sentences and you get to sign kite which is one fo my favourites.

Anyway I offerred to do some school assemblies for promotion so I'm going to practice signing them and teaching some sign phrases, it will be a nice twist and I can cover special schools too in a more inclusive way. Yep that's a definate.

Lesson today is use all you've got

Jen

Art Prize Planning

So,

Checked emails and texts, sent a thank you to the person who referred me to the Arts festival, did lots of housework and am now tidying up my paperwork. Won't be using my redundancy training money from React now I'm earning, but hard to find time to fit in a web design course, the one I need is about £400 and ideally should do that and one more advanced one. Next course starts January so think I'll reassess nearer Christmas.

I think we the web stuff and the experience gained I'll be more marketable by then anyway.

Also need to check when next XSC meeting is, I think next week and I'm looking forward to it. Its a once a month curators and artists visit a studio and talk about the Artist's practice, you get fascinating insights into the art world from working artists perspective. I'm very grateful to have been invited.

I have learnt that art prizes can make prices go up hugely like winning an Oscar but as you have to pay to enter they seem commercial and can put people off. Many artists judge them by whom will be judging them, this makes sense, get respect from those you respect is a need most of us have.

I'm still tinkering with the thought of my own art prize, very small, for printmaking in Wales but as the waters are choppy, I'm taking a listen and learn approach before getting the feet totally wet.

Jen

Magic Brogues

Tiring day at work but managed to write 2 letters and use the headed paper successfully 1st time! With no template set up and an unfamiliar printer. I was actually PROUD. Genuinely, otherwise did a lot of up and downstairs and dealing with a photocopier that has needed an engineer all week, manual duplex is time consuming.

Also I knew I was anxious about meeting Arts Festival Person as could not decide what to wear, usually I lie in bed and visualise different combinations try it on and feel it works and go. Today tried it on, chnaegd the necklace, changed tha cardi you name it. I looked acceptable, and then the hair just, well I need a Lucy intervention. I decided though that I was definately wearing the magic brogues.

Everywhere you go in the Art World, the administrators wear brogues, I love them but with a high instep had real trouble finding any, then when I had finally allowed myself to spend real money on a pair and was on my way to Jon Ian in Cardiff's Arcades, I spotted an A J Meek sale, 1 pair extremely comfy brown brogues for £9.99. I went back three weeks later and bought another identical pair and the same in black. Not yet have I had a no whilst wearing them, they just say, I belong here don't look at me like that, and the person accepts it.

So, very sunny after work, popped in to Milkwood and introduced myself then went off to the festival organiser's home and home office for a lovely cup of tea. House full of food and family. Liked her and the house immediately. I was honest and open, the trauma of office closure and unemployment did bring out lots more self awareness and has led me to just be me and be up front about it.

She listed lots of things that needed doing and I responded positively to things that interested me, explaining I know the theory, need the experience, need that on my CV as some jobs have fed back I lack dealing with funding bodies. also quite honest that I am totally fearless about managing staff and public speaking.

Therefore looks like I'm on to help with marketing, fundraising, co-ordinating volunteers, running an artist - public drawing event, help with the books and speak in school assemblies in the area.

Week tomorrow most likely be when the real stuff starts.

Too tired to get too excited, well maybe recent let downs don't help, but I'll let you knwo when it hits.

Right now I'm satisfied and that is no bad way to start the weekend.

Jen

Contact Made

So finally after email being down for 2 days got a message from the local Arts Festival who still want me involved and I get to meet them tomorrow after work to chat about my contribution. Suspect would be even better if I had more time to offer but Saturday - Tuesday inclusive in October should help. I will be part time starting on 5th October at the new temp job.

Monday 3rd is still a  gamble, the plan is to travel to London on the sunday, then travel to Brighton in the morning for The Museums Association Conference, not cheap but great networking opportunity. One contact will only lead to more is how I view that one.

Most excitingly had great feedback from my latest internship application failure. I imagine being in a job made it easier to hear but in general I give it to these Arty types they know how to save shove off in a nice way. Actually they said I was a strong contender and it was hotly debated and keep an eye out for other opportunities and apply again.

Work went well today, got to the bottom of the desk, found all the hidden scary things and sussed the filing systems and the expenses and invoice work and finished things! I love to finish things.

Also challenged boss to see that something was possible and kosher and therefore got rid of a headache for him too. Day 4 already speaking up, how me.

Lovely people and 2 weeks is not long enough to find a reason not to like them, yay!

Jen

Dress for Success

So today was busy but in a good way, felt challenged and thrown in at the deep end and fretted for about 20 minutes internally but actually went fine.

When I knew redundancy was on the cards I bought shoes. Today I got to wear them to a job not just an interview. Also seems I have been buying a lot of office clothes in my interview prep anxiety.

Today I was meeting the guy I am PA to and I think I must have been nervous because I chose the trimvurate of lucky office charms, my best shoes, my friendship bracelet from my previous boss and my ridicolously expensive swarowski crystal necklace my best mate in work bought me last birthday in case we never see each other again.

Agency rang, I thanked her a lot and said I loved it "they like you too" she said, "really how do you know?" " I have to check" Me thinks my self esteem was still needy.

So finished the stuffing envelopes job, managed diaries and learnt expense forms, booked train tickets via archane paper and web based system. had first 20p Freddie from the onsite staff shop and then back home.

Virgin media email down 2 days running so can't tell you what the Arts Festival said.

Other young temp is off to the Courtauld to study Art History so he is getting all my contact details, always worth sharing what you are up to and asking others about themselves.

Jen

Temping can be Tempting

So first full day temping and now have some system access in the office can get on with some things. However most of the day spent doing hypnotic things like envelope stuffing and photocopying. However listening to snippets of office politics and seeing slight personality clashes, it strikes me being in a place for 15 years no wonder everything gets to you.

Those small irritations get under your skin, you've tried to suggest and improve things and things change with you or without you sometiems for the better, sometimes not, and as a human you start to bond with it, with all its faults and somedays you don't want to live with it and some days you don't want to go home. Temping you understand the flaws but you don't have to live with them, its more like a rainy day in a fortnights holiday. Hmm refreshing

In a perm job you make friends and you have to say goodbye to them or not be real friends with them because of the hierarchy or whatever and sometimes you have to tell them off or a decision you make affects them negatively even though its the right one, quite draining after a while.

It's so nice to be busy, and a real joy I have an office to myself this week, next to the kitchen so herbal tea is 30 seconds away and if it gets cold I can still down it. And I have the most awesome stapler, its surpassed even the bambi my mum bought in the 60s and is still going strong, it's action is brilliant and it never jams and it makes a great reassuring "yep that's in" noise. Love it!

Tomorrow I meet the big cheese and hopefully hear from the gallery too,

Jen

Ups and Downs

Started the day ready to go for a great big anti stress stomp to some serious music, knew I was annoying my loved ones so reckoned get it all out and do everyone a favour. Then my MP3 player died, it just got stuck and said it was playing and nothing was happenning, GRRRRR.

Took my son to school and then set about huffing around the house doing chores, I'd give myself some credit for not watching homes under the hammer but the TV was taken by playstation user 1. The phone rings and it's my internet supplier with a automated message about the engineer who is coming tomorrow.

Next call is a recruitment agency saying would you like this part time 6 week placement that starts 5 October even though it's only £6.25 an hour, yes I say as its great hours 9.30-4.30 three days a week and not too far to travel. If I ever hear back from that local arts festival and the contemporary art gallery I can still volunteer around it.

Then she says would you like 2 weeks full time at £8 an hour, Yes I say, can you get there today? The PA has gone sick? Sure so this afternoon 4 hours of paid work and tomorrow I start at 9. It's only office work and will not add to my knowledge or get me closer to my arts job but it's money in and the sense of achievement just working gives you. Yay!

Then I get home and I can't make my blog work, I try the spam folder as the help on Blogger suggests and there is only an email from the arts festival from 13 THIRTEEN days ago! I was being frustratedly patient all this time. So Top tip, always check your spam files!

Sent of a hasty email saying sorry I missed your invite to chat, it's been in my spam folder, can I come in on the weekend or after 5. I so hope they can, otherwise all in vain.

You will see I am following another blog that is never updated with the same name, please check out the reading list, I shan't copy it across just add new ones. I have read them all and more in the last 11 months. I will be writing about a lot of them.

Yesterday's blog

Sunday, 11 September 2011

Starting to share

So, since October 2010 I have been dragging myself into the current thinking in Art History, teaching myself what I should have learned at Uni and what has happened to Art Historical thinking since I graduated in 1996.

This was one thing I did in preperation to change careers.

I also read self help books on changing careers and started pestering every art, theatre, circus, comedy or dance venue in south wales, the south west, London and beyond.

Why?

Well I hated a lot of my job as government cuts made helping the customer so hard and I led a team who felt as underappreciated as I did. Suddenly I was thinking why am I earning money just to do a pointless job, why not be poor doing something I believe in? Then redundancy called like a Switzerland to end hellish employment and I took the money and ran.

You find me after 5 weeks of no paid employment, a bit battered and needing a record of what I have learnt about through all of this and with a small scrap of hope remaining of what the future may bring. It's september 11, not a day to feel sorry for yourself, so today I start this new venture in hope that that hope will grow.

I will also share with you my views on texts and exhibits and possibly people I meet and what it's like to be 36 mum of one, with a lovely husband and not much money and no guaranteed future and no guides to the minefield I am trying to enter.

Join me for a laugh or cry or whatever you may find here.

Jen